All These Mistakes I've Made
by briita breakout
Summary: another A Rocket To The Moon/The Maine fanFICTION, this one will be longer and better, promise :D
1. Don't Forget, about us

**Well this originally started as a writing prompt for "finish the sentence...blah blah" but i really liked it as a fanFICTION, so tell me what you think :)**

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That's what happens when you follow your heart, you find yourself standing back stage next to the boy you swore you were going to marry, watching the boy you're going to marry perform a song written about you.. The song ended and the crowd screamed in approval, Eric shook his hair and looked back at me with a toothy grin, but soon his face fell when he saw who was standing next to me. Noticing the tension Kennedy cleared his throat and moved a few steps away, "I didn't even realize," I mouthed to Eric once Kennedy wasn't paying attention. Eric shrugged, "It's alright," he called back and switched guitars. I could tell from his pale expression and shaky hands he still wasn't feeling good, but he wouldn't let me take him to a doctor until after tonight's show, he really didn't want to miss seeing and performing for the fans. Nick announced the next song would be Mr. Right and I prepared for my big entrance. The last night of tour was always prank night for the boys, but tonight we were pranking the audience, after the bridge I was going to come out and sing the rest of the song "Mrs. Right" style and I couldn't wait.

"You know, whatever happened between us, I don't want it to stop us from being friends," I heard I voice say behind me, I turned and saw Kennedy standing close again.

"I know Kennedy, we are friends," I assured him.

"Then how come every time we're even near each other, either you move or Eric gets upset?" he asked.

"He's not upset," I explained, "he's just…"

"Threatened?" Kennedy interrupted me.

The truth was Eric probably was threatened or nervous if Kennedy and I spent time together. I'd always have a special place in my heart for him, even if I was in love with Eric then, Kennedy would always be a part of who I was.

"I'm sorry Kennedy," I whispered, "I'm sorry that us being friends is going to be hard, but what happened between us was your decision not mine." I answered, not meaning to sound so harsh.

Kennedy's face fell, "I know," he stammered, "I know it's my fault but…I, I don't want to go through this again. I've gone through it in my head over and over again and no matter what I still don't have you."

I sighed, "Kennedy, I don't know what to tell you. Do you think I want to go through this again? No I don't, let's just let this go, just forget it." I heard Nick near the end of the bridge and prepared to run on stage. "See that's the thing," Kennedy began, "I can't forget you."

"_Can always change your mind, and you, can't change mine…" _I ran on stage and grabbed Nick's mike, "_NO YOU CAN'T CHANGE MINE!" _I sang as gasps from the crowd erupted, "It's Britta!" a girl in a red The Maine shirt. I kept singing the next chorus, "_Maybe I'm your Mrs. Right baby,"_ looking back at Eric I could see he was smiling. I winked at him and finished out the chorus, the crowd screamed and pushed closer to the stage in an attempt to catch something the guys would throw. A few girls caught picks and fought who they were actually throwing them too, I looked down to see if I had anything to throw, the microphone probably wasn't such a good idea so I hooked it back on the stand and walked over to Eric.

"That was amazing babe," he smiled and lifted his guitar strap. I giggled and kissed his cheek, he was burning up and I couldn't tell if it was from just being hot or if he was getting a fever.

"You feeling alright?" I asked, grabbing his hand. He pointed towards his throat, "it really hurts," he faintly whispered.

"Let's get you to the doctor alright, it might be something bad," I suggested as we walked back stage, Kennedy was nowhere to be found. Eric shook his head in agreement and we continued to the van where we'd locked up all our stuff. We knew we had to move quickly before outside would crowd with fans wanting hugs and autographs and Eric didn't want to get anyone else sick. I texted Nick we'd meet him back at The Maine's bus as soon as we got back from the hospital and hopped in my car. Eric got in the passenger seat and rested his head on the cool window, brushing my hand against his cheek I could tell this time that it was the fever, not the heat of the stage, that was burning up.

Following the "H" sings we found a hospital and entered through the outpatient entrance. The women at the reception desk looked surprised to see us, "good evening," she smiled. "Hello," I walked up to the counter, the hospital smell was nearly making me nauseas, soon I'd need a gurney. "My names Britta, this is my boyfriend Eric, he's really sick like he can't talk, I'm not sure what it is, but it's bad." I explained. The women typed or names in the computers, "I knew I recognized you," she began, "you're that singer right? Britta, and he's in that band, Moon something."

"A Rocket To The Moon," I laughed. Wondering how she knew who we were I reached for my wallet. "My daughter is really into music," she explained noticing my confused expression, "she always listens to your song in the car, oh what's it called? It's a name." Kennedy. That was my only song named after a name, I swallowed hard and hoped Eric wasn't paying attention. "Well my daughter is just going to be so jealous I got to meet you tonight, did you just come from the show? She's there." I shook my head, "yeah we tried to get here early so we'd still have time to see the fans." I lied, as soon as we were leaving here I wanted to shower and sleep, today was too much for me.

"Well you're all set," the women looked up at me and smiled, "the doctor will be out shortly." Smiling I walked away and replied, "thank you."

After Eric saw the doctor and had a culture done on his throat it came back positive for Strep. Dr. Anderson prescribed some antibiotics and to try Tylenol to break the fever and we were off. By the time we got back to The Maine's bus it was around 11:30, Eric was exhausted and still wasn't feeling well. We climbed the stairs and walked into a crowd of sweaty guys playing video games. Kennedy sat on the couch with a controller in his hand concentrating deeply on the game. Eric grabbed my hand and led me towards the back of the bus, "I'm exhausted," he began and then his throat started to hurt. "Babe don't try and talk, just rest," I led his to the bunk he'd been staying in for a while; The Maine was nice enough to let us use their bus when we needed it. It was plenty bug enough, just crazy all the time. Eric lay down and motioned for me to lay net to him, I crawled in the bunk and nestled against him. The yells and sounds from the next room over were spilling into the bunks and I could hear someone in the shower. I'd probably hop in when they got out, I felt gross after the show and a warm shower would probably help clear my head after today too.

One by one more band members escaped to the bunk area and passed out, this tour had definitely drained most of their energy, but that didn't stop them from video games and beer, never. Eric kissed my forehead and I looked up at him, "sorry for being such a downer lately, if you want to go party with the guys you know you can." I smiled, "honey you're sick, and it's kinda nice taking care of you for once, I feel like you're always saving me." Eric chuckled and kissed my forehead again, "just making sure." "I'm actually going to go take a shower, promise to be here when I get back?" I laughed and crawled out of the bunk, "don't have too much fun without me" Eric joked as I left the bunk room.


	2. It's cool, we're just friends

**Chapter two; not SERIOUSLY INTENSE, but pretty awesome :)**

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I inhaled the last cloud of steam from the hot water and stepped out of the shower. Whipping the mirror with my towel I watched as my reflection became clearer. Footsteps shuffled passed the door and I figured the crowded game room had died down by now. Slipping out the door I double checked my towel and padded towards the bunk room, my hair still dripping wet I left a trail of water behind me. The lights still shone in the main room and the sound of clicking came and went in patterns. I rounded the corner and met eyes with a lonely Kennedy who was holding a controller and dressed in sweats and a t-shirt I bought him last fall. I stood there awkwardly smiling wrapped in a towel shaking from the change in temperature between the steamy bathroom and the chilly bus.

After a few seconds I cleared my throat, "where'd all the competition go?" I asked. Kennedy smiled. "I beat too many times, they had to give up and try and hold on to the last of their dignity," he explained. I couldn't help but laugh, Kennedy and I had pretty much the same sense of humor. We locked eyes again before I remembered I was still in a towel, "I'm uh, I'm gonna go change and then maybe do you wanna, I don't know, try and beat me?" I suggested. Kennedy looked down at the controller and back up at me, "It's a date." We both laughed awkwardly and shook heads in agreement before I headed back towards the bunk room.

It was pitch black when I stepped inside; bunks above my head and at my waist were filled with sleeping guys, exhausted from the long day. Eric faced the wall in his bunk and slept quietly, I didn't want to wake him so I tried as best I could to keep quiet while I grabbed my valise from under the bunk. Shuffling through I grabbed my tote bag and threw a bra, underwear, and pajamas inside. Inching the suitcase back under the bunk I checked to see if I'd awoken anyone, they all seemed undisturbed so I tip-toed back out into the hallway.

Kennedy still sat on the couch as I passed by swinging my bag, "I just need to change," I explained. Once I reached the bathroom I got dressed as quickly as I could, throwing on my Stewie pajama pants Eric and I had bought at Wal-Mart the day before Kennedy and I broke up. Looking in the mirror I grabbed my brush off the counter and quickly ran it trough my sopping hair. Adding a little of Johns mouse, which I still didn't know why on earth he had, I threw it up into a sloppy bun and threw my towel in the overflowing laundry basket.

Joining Kennedy on the couch he handed me another controller and wouldn't take his eyes off the TV, if he was the one who wanted us to be friends why wasn't he the one trying to be? "Kennedy?" I asked. "Oh, um hm," he said still focused on the screen. "Do you really think it's possible for us to be friends, you know after everything that happened?" I placed the controller down next to me and waited for a response. "I uh, I don't know, I thought you wanted to play," Kennedy said finally looking at me. "We could play," I began, "we could sit here and play this pointless game until the sun comes up, but in the end we'd still be ignoring what's going on between us." Kennedy threw the controller on the floor, "there's nothing going on between us," he exclaimed louder than he should have with a bus full of sleeping guys, "we're not anything anymore." It's not like I hadn't heard this before, Kennedy and I had tried to talk things out before but it always ended with me walking away before the conversation was over, this time I wasn't going to walk away. "Kennedy," I whispered, "I know there's nothing between us right now, what I mean is…" Kennedy interrupted me, "what you mean is, is that we aren't going to be able to be friends if we don't deal with what happened." He had taken the words right from my mouth, "right," I agreed.

Kennedy turned around to face me and we finally started talking, "look what I did, was a mistake, a big mistake," he started, "and I know you're never going to be able to forgive me." I shook my head, "Kennedy, of course I forgive you, I…I can't spend the rest of my life hating you. I just, I can't love you anymore, I don't love you anymore."

"You love Eric," Kennedy expressed. "Yes I do," I began, "and you know that, you know it's over between us Kennedy, Eric is…" Kennedy stared at the floor, "the one?" he asked. I knew Eric was "the one" but I didn't want to go into too much detail about our relationship with Kennedy, so I simply shook my head in agreement.

We sat in silence for a few seconds before I finally built up enough strength to let it all out, "Kennedy, you and I, we were something I'll never forget, but that part of me is gone. And I want more than anything for us to be friends but you know as well as I that it's going to be hard. I love you very much Kennedy, you know that, but I'm not in love with you. I want to be able to have the kind of relationship with you that we _can _play video games until the sun comes up, and in the morning we can walk away and say, 'well that was fun'. Not 'that was awkward.' So for us to be able to do that, I just need to know, will you be willing to let go of the past and just be us now, friends."

Kennedy shook his head, "yeah I, I can do that," he stuttered, "we're friends." I looked down at the couch and started laughing,

Kennedy looked up at me confused, "what? What's so funny?" he asked.

"Remember that first night of Warped?" I laughed again, "we got so drunk."

Kennedy smiled as he recalled the memory, "oh god, I remember that, you were 18 still and I thought we were going to get busted."

The memories came flooding back, "haha you were so afraid we were going to get busted you made us leave the party early and come back to bus."

"We sat here for hours," Kennedy reminisced looking at the couch, "we just talked and talked."

"And made out," I added laughing, "for hours and hours."

Kennedy smiled, "oh the good old days."

We sat on the couch and talked for hours and hours, just remembering the good times, and sometimes the bad. But as we talked through it we realized that being friends wasn't going to be that hard, as long as we remembered those "good times" were the past now, and that's the only thing they'd be, memories of the past.

It was about 2am when I finally crawled back into the bunk with Eric. He sleepily turned over and routinely wrapped his arm around me, with his eyes still closed he whispered, "where've you been?" Laughing I whispered back, "oh just catching up with an old friend."


	3. Well this changes everything

**well this COMPLETELY changes the whole story...but i LOVE IT :)**

**JUST SAYING NOW, A PART OF THIS CHAPTER IS A TAD RACY, NOT FOR THE KIDDIES ;D**

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Before I could say "Goodnight New York!" the tour was over and we were headed back for Arizona. One of my houses was in Connecticut, where my family was, and the other in New Jersey, my beach house I stayed in the first year of college, but for now I lived with Eric in Tempe. Back in August we took two days off the tour to move all my stuff from Kennedy and I's apartment to Eric's house, leaving Kennedy to cover the rent by himself. I loved Arizona though, and living with Eric. We were simple, we made sense, never had anything to fight about, or be jealous of, I finally found the one.

We pulled up in front of the house around 3 in the morning after a long few days of non-stop driving. John didn't live that far from Eric so we pretty much followed him home and went our separate ways a few streets back. Nick and Andrew were home back in Mass and Justin in California, and everyone was just happy to be home. The house was pitch black when we finally stepped inside, everything was just as we'd left it and I smiled as I looked in the big mirror on the wall and saw our tired expressions. Eric placed his bag down on the floor and wrapped his arms around me in a backwards hug. "I love you," he whispered and kissed my cheek. "I love you too," I began, "I'm so happy to be home and just get some time alone with my babe." Just as Eric went to kiss me again his phone vibrated in his pocket, "who would be calling me now?" he asked out loud while pulling out his iPhone. It was John, should have known, "hello?" Eric answered confused.

"Hey man!" a cheery John Ohh exclaimed through the phone, "You home yet?" Eric rolled his eyes, "yes John, you do know it's 3 in the morning right?" I laughed and grabbed my bag off the floor, "I'll meet you upstairs" I mouthed. "Oh sorry man," I heard John begin, "I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Eric shook his head, "oh John, what am I going to do with you?" As I laughed and headed for the stairs I heard Eric continue to talk to John and wondered what he could possibly have to say now.

Finally settling down in bed Eric shuffled in the room and switched on the light, "sorry about that," he began, "you know how John is, I swear he talks in his sleep." "Don't worry about it," I replied, "now do I get my boyfriend back?" Eric took off his favorite leather jacket and hung it up in the closet, "I'm officially yours from here on out." He slipped out of his vans and jeans, turned off the light, and hopped into bed, "now, where were we?" I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss, his hand slipped down my back and soon I rolled on top of him. Continuing to kiss I eventually wiggled out of my underwear and reached for Eric's boxers, we broke apart and I slowly kissed down his chest. Just as I reached the trim of his waist band, his phone started to vibrate on the side table. "Are you kidding me!" he whisper-yelled reaching for the gyrating phone. "I swear to god if it's John I'm driving to his house and shoving his phone up his ass," I threatened.

Eric checked the screen, "it's Garrett?" he said confused. "What? Garrett? Why would he be calling you at 3:30 in the morning?" I asked. Eric answered the phone, "hello," his voice sounding tired and confused. I couldn't make out what he was saying because he was speaking so fast and Eric was trying to calm him down and understand what was going on, "Garrett? What are you saying man?" Then Eric's face fell, "oh my god, you have to be kidding. Yeah, yeah I'll uh I'll get ready and meet you there, just calm down man okay, everything's gonna be alright." Eric hung up the phone and placed it softly on the table, closing his eyes he ran his fingers through his hair and exhaled deeply. "Eric, what did Garrett say?" I pleaded. His voice was shaky as he stared into space and finally gave me an answer, "It's Pat and Kennedy," he whispered. "What about them?" I frantically asked. "They were in an accident coming home, there both in the hospital and it doesn't look good for either of them right now." The tears started to burn in my eyes, "what? No, there has to be some mistake!" Eric swallowed hard and moved to the edge of the bed, "we have to get to the hospital, now."


	4. She's fresh to death

**oh snap! some stuff's about to go down! this chapter is really touching (i hope!) and leads into a whole new world...**

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We rushed to the hospital and met up with Garrett in the waiting room, his eyes were bloodshot red and his nail beds were torn and bloody from his nervous nail biting habit. Jared solemnly sat in the corner staring into space, "is he alright?" I asked Garrett. He looked over at Jared, "he's uh, he's fine, he's just a little freaked. He was supposed to be in that car with Pat and Kenny, but he opted for a ride with his girlfriend." I couldn't imagine how that must've felt, knowing you were supposed to be in that car. I searched the waiting room for anyone else familiar, "where's john?" I asked Garrett. Before he could answer John came running around the corner and out of breathe he called out, "Pat's awake, he's awake!" We all took off after John following him to Pat's room where he sat up in bed, one eye was bruised and swollen shut and he had about 6 stitches across his bottom lip. The doctor stood next to the bed and closely watched the monitors; laying his clip board down on the edge of the bed he asked "how are you feeling Mr. Kirch?" Pat looked around the room at everyone and finally replied in a weak voice, "I feel like I got hit in the face with a Mac truck." Everyone finally started to breathe, "Pat, what happened?" Jared asked his voice a little shaky. Pat closed his eyes and swallowed hard, "I, I was driving," he began, "and I was stopped at a red light, and, and when it turned green, I went. Then all I remember is a flash of white light, and I woke up here." The doctor shook his head and picked up his clip board, "you were hit from the side," he explained, "a drunk driver in a pickup truck ran a red light and collided with you. You're very lucky to be in as good of condition that you are, you're friend still hasn't woken up yet."

Kennedy. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten about him, he must've been in the passenger seat, and they got hit on the side…if Pat looked like this, how was he? "Where's Kennedy?" I asked the doctor, my voice cracking as my throat started to close, "Can, can I see him?" The doctor looked down at his chart and then back up at me, "Kennedy is just out of recovery in room A11, you can go see him if you'd like, but he's still not fully awake." Eric grabbed my hand, "do you want me to come with you?" he asked. "No, it's okay, you stay here with Pat," I replied, "I should probably do this alone anyway." I followed Dr. Saunders to room A11 and thanked him as I closed the door behind me. My heart fell when I saw Kennedy; he lay in the hospital bed with a bandage wrapped around his head, a neck brace, a cast on his right arm, and an air cast on his left foot. The monitor beeped slowly as it followed his heart rate, and as I approached the bed I felt the tears start burning again. Sitting down on the edge of the bed I sucked in a deep breath and reached for Kennedy's hand, "I know you're in a coma right now, but I, I have a feeling you can hear me. So Kennedy, if you can hear my voice, even just a little bit, just squeeze my hand or something." I looked down at Kennedy's hand in mine and watched as his pointer finger twitched a slight bit. "Okay, I'll take that as you can hear me," the tears started falling as I tried to speak again, "This is so you Kenny. We don't talk for almost 4 months, and finally when things start turning around and we actually become friends again, you go and get yourself almost killed." My arm started to itch a little and I gently scratched it continuing to talk to Kennedy, "I'm so sorry this happened," I began, "I have no idea what I'd do if I lost you Kennedy. I need you around ya know, I need someone to fight with from time to time, and you need someone who's some actual competition on Left For Dead 2." Without realizing it my arm started to itch more and more, "You know Kennedy; you were the first person I ever loved. Of course you know that, what am I saying? I wish you'd wake up, I just need to know you're okay."

I sat with Kennedy on the bed for a little while longer and watched as his heart monitor continued to beep, but he never woke up. Finally I broke down, "Kennedy I know you can hear me. You gotta wake up okay, you have to. Cause me and you, we need the chance to be friends again, I need you back in my life Kennedy. So just do me a favor and open your eyes, please!" I squeezed his hand tighter, "please Kennedy. I forgive you, for everything, please just wake up." Staring at the floor I realized my attempts were pointless, my arm burned and unconsciously I continued to scratch until blood started to rise up to the surface and get under my nails.

"Britta?" I heard a voice whisper behind me. I whipped around, Kennedy lay looking up at me, "Kennedy!" I exclaimed, "You're awake." His eyes fluttered, "where, where am I?" he asked confused. "Kennedy, you're in the hospital honey. You and Pat, you got into a bad accident driving home." Squeezing his eyes shut Kennedy tried to make sense of what I was saying, "What, we, were in an accident?" I brushed the hair away from his eyes, "a drunk driver ran a red light and hit you on the passenger side, and you got real hurt so don't try and move okay." Lifting his left arm he reached over and felt his cast, "this is crazy," he whispered, "how, how's pat? Is he okay?" I shook my head, "he woke up a little while ago, he's got some cuts and bruises but he should be fine." Kennedy exhaled deeply, "thank goodness." I rested my head on his shoulder, "I can't believe this," my voice muffled into his arm. Kennedy slowly patted my head with his left hand, "I heard what you said," he smiled. "Everything?" I asked. "Well bits and pieces," he explained, "but I heard you crying and I didn't know why." "Oh Kenny," I began to cry again, "I was so scared I'd never be able hear your voice again." "I'm not giving up this easy," Kennedy joked. I couldn't help but laugh, I was just so relieved Kennedy was okay. I lifted my head off his shoulder and crawled off the bed, "I should probably tell a nurse or something you're awake," I said whipping my eyes. Kennedy got a confused look on his face, "Britta," he began, "what happened to your arm?" Wrinkling my brow I looked down and asked, "what, what about it?" then I saw it in the light. All down my left arm were cracked and bleeding bright red hives, "oh my god," I whispered.

That type of rash ran in my family and I'd only seen it twice in my life. Once when my Aunt Jess was pregnant with my cousin, and twice when my mother found out she was pregnant with my little sister. And now it was crawling up MY forearm…


	5. Just Another One?

**okay not gonna lie, this chapter was really hard to write. i hope at the end everyone's content :) chapter 6 is gonna be intenseeeee....**

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Closing the door behind me I met eyes with a nurse and informed her Kennedy was awake; she nodded and thanked me as I walked away. Approaching Pat's room I pulled the sleeve of Eric's sweatshirt I was wearing over my arm, I didn't want to have to explain to him the rash before I knew if it was true or not. Then my stomach turned, "could I be pregnant?" I thought to myself. Rounding the corner into Pat's room I sucked in a deep breath and tried to put on a somewhat normal face, the guys stood around Pat's bed as he tried to stay awake. "Britta," Jared breathed noticing I'd entered the room, "how's Kennedy?" he frantically asked. I cleared my throat, "he's uh, he's awake," I began, "but he doesn't look so good, he's really banged up. You can go see him I think, he was awake when I left." Jared shook his head and shuffled passed me, followed by Garrett and John, "I'll be right back alright Pat?" John whispered before he left. Eric looked up at me with sad eyes, "So he's alright?" he asked. I could tell he was really nervous from his freshly scaring lips; he always chewed at them when he was anxious. "He's really hurt Eric, his arms broken, and his foot. He's, he's got a neck brace, and a huge gash on his head. I just, I can't believe this." I nestled my head into Eric's chest and sobbed quietly, "It's alright," he whispered, "he's gonna be okay." My arm burned under the sweatshirt and my stomach turned again, breaking away from Eric I wiped my eyes and looked at Pat. His scraggly hair was a mess and his lip quivered as he tried to speak, "This is all my fault," he cried. "No man," Eric walked over to his bed side, "this is not your fault. It's the guy who decided to get in his truck after a night at the bar's fault." A tear fell down Pat's cheek, "It should've been me, Kennedy should be the one okay, not me. I begged him to left me drive." Eric grabbed Pat's hand, "you had no idea that guy was going to hit you man, this isn't your fault!" I stood there clutching my arm and crying, this was too much to handle in one night. The door opened behind me and John popped his head in, "Eric man, Kennedy wants to see you." Eric let go of Pat's hand, "alright," he called back to John. "Pat, I'll be right back okay, I'm gonna go see Kenny, Britta will stay here with you." He looked up at me for approval; I shook my head and motioned for him to go.

Eric left the room and I pulled a chair up too Pat's bedside, he sighed and looked down at me, "you, you saw Kenny wake up right?" I shook my head, "he's okay I promise," I assured him. "He's not mad at me right?" Pat asked. "Oh god no honey," I replied, "Kennedy knows this isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself okay." Pat shook his head, "I can't believe this." My arm pulsed in pain and I ripped up my sleeve and scratched, Pat looked down at my arm, "what happened?" he asked. "Pat, can you promise to keep a secret for me?" I asked. "Uhm hm," he replied. I exhaled deeply, "I'm not positive yet, but I think I might be pregnant. I mean this rash; it runs in my family, something about the hormone change in your body when you're pregnant." Pat squeezed his eyes shut and replied, "You think you're pregnant?" "Don't tell anyone okay," I pleaded, "I don't know for sure yet and I don't want to get everyone freaked out." Pat swallowed hard, "get a test," he suggested, "find out before you tell Eric, I, I promise I won't tell anyone." "I'm gonna get a test as soon as we leave the hospital," I explained, "and thank you." The door opened slowly and Pat and I both looked to see who it was, pulling my sleeve back down I got up out of the chair. It was Garrett; he walked back into the room and paced the floor for a second. "Garrett," I whispered, "are you alright?" He looked up at me and spat out whatever he just chewed off his cuticle, "I'm fine, just worried." I walked over to him and placed my hand on his shoulder, "everything's gonna be alright okay." Garrett pulled me into a hug, his heart was racing I could tell, the whole situation was just too much for all of us.

I left Pat and Garrett alone in the room and slowly walked to A11, Dr. Saunders was standing above Kennedy's bed, and the guys were scattered around the room. Kennedy looked up at me as I entered, "Britta," he said his voice husky and tired. Everyone turned and looked at me, Eric stood up from sitting in the chair and I shuffled over to him. He wrapped his arms around my waist, "is Pat still alright?" he asked. "Yeah just worried about Kennedy," I replied, "he still thinks this is his fault." Dr. Saunders wrote a few things down on his chart and looked up at everyone, "Kennedy is alright for now, and the best thing for him is rest. You're all welcome to stay if you'd like, but for now I think we all should get some sleep." John ran his hands through his hair, "I, I'm gonna stay," he walked over to the couch, "you guys go home, I'll call you if anything changes." We all agreed and headed for the door, "bye Kenny," I called behind me.

On the drive home we approached a Wal-Mart and I asked Eric to pull in. "What do you need at Wal-Mart now?" he joked. "I uh, I'm thirsty," I replied. "We have drinks at home," Eric answered confused. "I know," I racked my brain for a good response, "but I want some Vitamin Water, we don't have any at home." "Okay," Eric sing-songed confusedly as he pulled into the lot. "You want me to come in with you?" he asked putting the car in park. "No! No it's alright," I replied frantically, "I'll be right back." Shutting the door behind me I ran inside and headed straight for the pharmacy counter, a rack of pregnancy tests sat next to the window. I read threw the brands "First Response", "Clearblue", "Day Seven", I didn't know which one to choose. I grabbed the generic brand and stuffed it in my sweatshirt, the women at the counter gave me a look, "don't worry I'm going to pay for it," I assured her. Spotting a display of Vitamin water I took off and grabbed a fruit punch flavor, if I didn't like it Eric would drink it anyway. There was practically three lines open when I got the front of the store, I chose one and placed my stuff on the counter. I watched as the women scanned the pregnancy test and my arm started to burn again. I paid and headed for the door, clutching the Vitamin Water in my hands I stuffed the test in my sweatshirt and tossed the bag and receipt. Eric had turned the radio on and was jamming out to Kings Of Leon before I got back, I clicked open the door and plopped in the car. "All set?" he asked smiling."Uhm hm," I replied reaching for my seatbelt. We took off out of the parking lot and headed for home; I rested my head against the window and closed my eyes. Eric cleared his throat, "I'm sorry we didn't really get a break yet, you know just for us." "It's alright," I replied, "It's not your fault."

Kennedy and I had been broken up for nearly 6 months now, and he still found a way to control my sex life.


	6. Sad but true baby

**very short...but says so much.**

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The next morning I crawled out of bed at 5:30 and grabbed the pregnancy test from under the sink where I'd hid it. I read and followed the directions trying to be as quiet as possible. The box said it'd take about 10 minutes to read the results, one pink line would mean negative, and two positive. Thankfully Eric hadn't seen my arm last night; as soon as we got home I got into bed keeping the sweatshirt and fell asleep. I went to check the test again when I heard a knock on the door, "Britta?" Eric sleepily mumbled from the other side of the door. "Shit," I whispered under my breath, "I'll be out in a minute." "Can I open the door?" Eric asked. I grabbed the test and placed it on the toilet behind me and sat down on the lid, Eric opened the door before I could respond. He had my phone up to his ear and rubbed my eyes, "babe," he began, "you're managers on the phone, he says he's got some big news." My heart raced, he was probably calling about my record, it was scheduled to come out next month. "What kinda news?" my voice faded out as I asked. Eric still clutching the phone looked me up and down, "you alright?" he asked. I shook my head and tried to smile, Eric looked concerned but he kept talking, "they want you to come out to California, they want you to record some more stuff and put the final touches on your album." Eric stopped talking as the voice on the other line droned in his ear, "what? A month? But, but we're leaving for another tour in two weeks." I looked up at Eric, "a month?" The voice continued to speak, "they have an apartment set up for you in LA, and they're going to need you there for at least a month to get everything done." My head started to spin, "a month? Why a whole month?" Eric cleared his throat, "you have to record two more songs before they can close the record, and they want to plan a duet. And a photo shoot for the album cover," he explained, "and when the albums released they need you there for the release party and plus a mini radio tour." All this was so exciting and my dreams coming true, but it all felt so wrong. I didn't want to leave Eric for a month and go to California, and…I still didn't know the results of the test.

"They said they'll need to know by the end of the day when you can get to LA," Eric explained halfheartedly. "Eric," I whispered, "tell them you have to go okay." "What why?" Eric shook the hair out of his face. I reached behind me and carefully grabbed the test; the results should be clear by now. As soon as Eric saw what I was holding he knew why I'd asked him to hang up, "she'll call you back okay," he said into the phone before pressing end. I held the test facing down in my hand and felt my stomach flip flop. Eric placed my phone on the counter and kneeled down next to me, "why didn't you tell me?" he murmured. "I didn't think I was until last night, and I didn't want to make anyone even more worried," I explained. Eric kissed my forehead and closed his eyes, leaning his forehead on mine he softly said, "Whatever that test says, we can handle anything as long as we have each other okay." Quietly sobbing I flipped the test over, we both looked anxiously. Two pink bars. Positive.


	7. False Pretense, you'll learn again

**not gonna lie, things are about to get intense.... hope you enjoy. :D**

* * *

We sat in silence for a while, just staring at the test to see if it'd change. Finally Eric spoke, "how, how did you know?" he asked, "How did you know to get the test?" Pulling up my sleeve I revealed the rash, Eric winced as he examined it with his eyes, "that's how you knew?" he asked confused. "This type of rash runs in my family," I explained, "and you only get it when you're pregnant. That's how I knew." Eric hung head low, "you should have told me," he began, "I would've…" "Wouldn't what Eric?" I cried, "I'm pregnant." My voice cracked as I said "pregnant." A tear rolled down Eric's cheek, "I don't know what I would've done okay, you just, you should have told me." He pulled me into a hug and I cried on his shoulder, "I'm sorry" I whispered. "Sorry for what?" he cried back, "you didn't get pregnant by yourself, this is my baby too. We should've been more careful." I pulled away from Eric's hold, "that's the thing," I whispered, "we were careful. I don't know how this happened." Eric swallowed hard, "I, I don't know. But I do know that you need to see the doctor about that rash, it doesn't look good." I shook my head and gently touched my arm, "I'm sorry," I whispered again.

The same hospital we left last night we came back too, this time for a completely different reason. I sat in the exam room and patiently waited for a doctor to come in and check out my arm. Eric sat in a chair in the corner reading a magazine, I could tell from his face he was nervous, and so was I. Soon a soft knock came upon the door and a young female doctor stepped in, "Hell Britta," she smiled and placed her chart down on the table, "I am Dr. Griffin and I'm here to check out your arm." "Hi Dr. Griffin," I replied, "uhm this is my boyfriend Eric." Eric sat up in the chair and gave a slight wave. Dr. Griffin smiled and walked over to me, "alright let's see that arm." Turning my arm over she gently gripped my wrist and examined the hives. "This type of rash runs in my family," I explained, "it usually only shows up when you're pregnant." Dr. Griffin wrinkled her brow, "well it doesn't look like any type of PUPPP I've ever seen," she let go of my wrist, "I'll have you take a pregnancy test just in case. Are you sexually active?" "We haven't been for a while because of the tour, but when we were, we were really careful, I know we were. And I, I took a home test." Dr. Griffin stopped me, "you took a home test?" she asked, "and what were the results?" I cleared my throat, "p, positive," I stuttered. Dr. Griffin reached for my hand, "honey, don't worry, those home tests aren't always right. We're gonna give you another test okay." I shook my head and followed her to the bathroom to take my second test.

Waiting for Dr. Griffin to come back with the results felt like a lifetime. I sat there contemplating everything, "I'm 19," I thought to myself, "my life's just starting, I can't be pregnant." I looked over at Eric; he sat chewing at his bottom lip and staring at the floor. "Eric," I whispered, "I'm scared." He came over and sat next to me on the bed, "I'm scared too," he whispered grabbing my hand and squeezing. "Thank you for being here for me," pulling him into a kiss I tried to just breathe. Breaking apart Eric kissed my forehead and I nestled my head onto his chest as he rubbed my shoulder. I looked down at my wrapped arm; Dr. Griffin had put some ointment on it and told me to change the bandage before going to bed. I was a little comforted that she didn't think it was a pregnancy rash, but the home test's results still had me shaking.

The door pushed open and I sat up straight, Dr. Griffin walked in with a smile. "Well," she began, "the test came back negative. You're not pregnant." Breaking into a sob I cried, "Oh thank god," Eric grabbed my hand and wiped his eyes. "That take home test was a piece of crap," Dr. Griffin joked, "but that rash is serious." I didn't understand, every woman in my family got that rash when she was pregnant, why was I different? "Britta," Dr. Griffin began, "you have a condition called Granuloma Annulare. But don't worry; your case is nothing to worry about. It seems as if your rash was brought on by stress. Have you been very stressful lately?" The events of last night flashed through my head, "my friends," I began to explain, "They were in a car accident last night." Dr. Griffin shook her head, "and last night is when you noticed the rash?" she asked. "Yes," I replied. "There's your explanation," Dr. Griffin smiled, "I'll prescribe you something to make the itching dull and eventually the rash will fade on its own. Just try and stay away from deep stress for a little while alright?" I smiled and thanked Dr. Griffin as we left the room, Eric grabbed my hand and sucked in a deep breath, "I told you everything would be alright."

Before we left we decided to visit Pat and Kennedy, when we got to Pat's room he was sitting up eating breakfast. "Guys," he chuckled, "didn't I just see you!" Walking into the room Pat noticed my wrapped up arm, "you got it looked at?" he asked lowering his tone. "Yeah I did," I began, "it's just a stress rash, I'm not pregnant." Eric looked at me confused as Pat sighed in relief, "you told Pat?" he asked. "He saw my arm last night, I just told him I didn't know if I was pregnant or not, I hadn't even gotten the test yet." Eric dropped hands with me, "you could tell Pat, but you couldn't tell me?" his voice sounded more hurt than angry. "I didn't _tell _Pat," I tried to explain, "he just saw my arm okay, it's not like you were going to be last to know. I was still scared last night; I didn't want to tell anyone." Pat reached for the remote and clicked off the TV, "Eric dude," he called, "she didn't really tell me, I asked her about the rash and she said she was worried. Don't get mad okay." Eric huffed, "so my girlfriend thinks she's pregnant and she tells you about it before she tells me, the father, and I'm not supposed to be mad." I couldn't believe how he was reacting, after everything we just went through he was getting angry about this. Pat tried to help, "Eric man, just calm down. Can you really blame Britta, she was scared, she thought she was pregnant man, try and put yourself in her shoes last night." Eric walked over to Pats bed, "well I would have been in her shoes if she'd told me, wouldn't I have?" Standing on the other side of the bed I watched as Eric and Pat argued about last night, finally I was fed up, "Eric!" I yelled, "Look at you, look at what you're doing! Pat's lying in a hospital bed, he got really hurt last night, we could have lost him and Kennedy last night, and you're freaking out over this!" Pat closed his eyes and lay back in bed, he was obviously in pain. "Yeah, we could have lost Pat and Kennedy last night," he began, "as a matter of fact, why don't you go see Kennedy, cause I know that's where you wish you were anyway. And you know damn well if he hadn't fucked around behind your back in July, you and I wouldn't even be together. So go be with your real boyfriend. Go!" I was so angry I couldn't think straight, did he really just say that to me, the girl who not but 20 minutes ago could have been the mother of his unborn child. "Fuck You!" I yelled storming for the door, tears falling down my face, and heart sinking with every step.


	8. This is real life

**I'm going to apologize now for it being so long...but it's really worth the read. this was hands down my favorite chapter to write, i hope you enjoy it :D**

* * *

I paced outside Kennedy's door for a good ten minutes before Eric came to find me. I couldn't believe what he said, why was he so mad I didn't tell him about the rash right away? But then again the whole pregnancy scare had us both shaken, maybe he didn't mean what he said, maybe he wasn't thinking straight.

"I'm an idiot," a voice behind me sighed. I turned around and met with Eric's sad eyes. He pulled me into a hug and I slowly breathed in his aroma. "I'm sorry," he began, "you know I didn't mean that." I squeezed my arms tighter around him, hoping I'd never have to let go. "I know you didn't mean it," I whispered, "We were both scared okay." Eric placed his chin on the top of my head gently, "what would we have done if you were really pregnant?" he pondered out loud. Choking on my tears I tried to reply, "I'm not ready for a baby, neither of us are." Breaking away from the hug Eric looked deep into my eyes, "if you were pregnant," he began, "you would've been the best mom in the world." The tears fell harder, "and you would've been the best dad." Eric smiled, "one day, I promise, me and you are gonna be the best parents out there. But for now, let's just live and have fun, the real world can wait." Pulling him into another hug I whispered in his ear, "there's no one else on this earth I'd rather have babies with than you Eric James Halvorsen."

Before leaving we checked Kennedy's room but he was sound asleep, knowing the best thing for him was rest we left him sleeping. Eric hesitated as we left the room, "you know, what I said before, I, I shouldn't have said that. What happened between you and Kennedy, it's not my business and I crossed the line."

I shook my head, "what happened between Kennedy and I is your business cause you were there for me to pick up the pieces. You have no idea how hard i fell for you do you?"

Eric smiled, "I just, I feel really bad for saying that."

Grabbing his hand I replied, "Just forget it, I have. All I need to know is that you love me, and all you need to know is that I love you."

Walking back to the car I stopped Eric in the parking lot and threw my arms around him, "Kennedy might have been my first love, but you're always going to be my last."

Eric kissed my forehead, "well that's good enough for me beautiful," he whispered.

"And besides," I began, "Kennedy never got to hit this!" I turned around and slapped my butt, laughing hysterically. Eric grabbed my waist and kissed my neck, "watch yourself," he chuckled, "or I might just have to lay you down right here in the parking lot." "Oh you're bad," I giggle purred.

* * *

Before I could even breathe walking in the door Eric swooped me up and slung me over his shoulder.

"Put me down," I snorted from laughing so hard. He carried me upstairs and tossed me on the bed, kneeling over top of me we locked eyes.

"I love that look," I whispered.

"What look?" Eric replied wrinkling his brow.

"That look you get when you're thinking," I explained grabbing his collar, "what are you thinking about?"

Eric looked down at me and smiled, "how much I love you."

Pulling him into a kiss I wrapped my arms around his neck and played with his hair. He sat up and pulled off his jacket and tossed it on the ground, reaching for my fly he bent down and kissed my neck.

"Wait," I stopped him, "two things."

"What?" Eric breathed pulling off his shirt.

"One, where is your phone?" I chuckled softly.

"I left it down stairs," Eric replied, "purposely."

"Good boy," I sat up and kissed his collar bone, "and too, do we have protection?"

Eric's eyes frantically scaled the room, "one second," he hoped off the bed and shuffled through the top drawer of his night stand.

"Here we are," he said pulling out a sleeve of Trojan condoms. Looking up at me he smiled, "this enough?"

"Well why don't we find out?" I purred. Crawling back on the bed Eric pulled me into another kiss, running my fingers through his hair I felt him undo my fly and soon my jeans hit the floor, followed by Eric's, and then the rest of my attire.

* * *

Out of breathe I rolled over onto my side of the bed, Eric lay still and sucked in a deep breath. My head was spinning; we'd never had that much sex in my life. Being home was now officially better than being on tour, that was a given.

"Holy shit," Eric whisper-laughed, pushing the hair out of his face.

"Well Mr. Halvorsen," I cooed cuddling up to his side, "you are quite the little sex kitten."

"I do believe you would be the kitten in this case," he corrected me laughing.

Softly kissing up his arm I breathed in the moment, "I love you."

Eric turned over on his side and kissed my forehead, "I love you too."

"I can't believe I thought I was pregnant," I reminisced finally able to laugh at the situation.

"I can't believe it either," Eric rubbed his eyes, "I don't know how to feel about this."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"When you thought you were pregnant," he began, "when I saw that test, I just, I knew my life was going to change. I was scared, but I kinda got excited."

I smiled inside, "I was scared and excited too," I whispered.

"And then," he choked, "when the second test came back negative, I, I was relieved for you, but a part of me wished you really were. I had almost gotten used to the feeling, like 'I'm gonna be a dad'"

"Oh Eric," I sighed, "how did I get so lucky, you're truly amazing you know that?"

"I try," he blushed.

I lay in his arms for a while and watched his chest as it rose and fell with each breath. I closed my eyes and let my mind take me back to the night Eric found me in the hotel hallway and came with me to Wal-Mart. That night I feel in love with him, and lying in his arms I'd fallen for him all over again.

"Oh hey," Eric pulled his arm back from being draped over my shoulders, "don't forget you have to call your manager back about your album."

I shuddered at the thought of leaving for a month, "ugh don't remind me," I groaned.

"Babe, you know you're album is going to be amazing. Don't let the fans down." Eric tried to encourage me but I could tell from his face he didn't want me to leave either.

"But I don't want to leave you for a month," I whined, "can't you just come with me?"

Eric kissed my forehead and chuckled softly, "you know I want more than anything to go with you, but the band needs me. We go back on tour in two weeks and Nick and Andrew are flying down in a few days to start rehearsing. I have to stay here for the band, but you, you can do your own thing."

"I don't want to do anything without you," I whispered.

"Alright Bella," Eric mocked me, "last thing I knew my names not Edward Cullen, and you're not helpless."

"Hey, dick!" I slapped his arm.

"I'm serious," he play slapped me back; "you have no idea how proud of you I am about this album. You're gonna be going on your own tours soon, just watch."

"But, but what if no one buys my album. What if no one likes it, I mean come on 'Mistake' is in the title."

Eric chuckled and rolled his eyes, "You have no idea how truly talented you are do you. Babe, you already have two singles on iTunes people are going crazy about. Shadow and…"he hesitated.

"Kennedy," I whispered. I had started writing the song while Kennedy and I were together, and finished it after we broke up. It was the first single I put out on iTunes and the number 1 track scheduled for my album, hence the name "All These Mistakes I've Made."

"Right that one," Eric replied crestfallen.

"Eric you know that song is about us breaking up," I tried to explain.

"I know," he attempted to assure me but I could hear the jealousy in his voice, "but, I don't know, it's like you have a song about your ex, and not one about us."

I swallowed hard, "Eric, I have tried hundreds and hundreds of times to write a song about us, or you, or how I feel about you. But I, I just can't put it into words, nothing I wrote came even close to explaining how I feel."

"You're amazing," Eric whispered dazzlingly, "and who cares if Kennedy's got a song, I got the girl. And that's all I'll ever need."

* * *

Dressed in nothing but Eric's favorite flannel shirt I descended the stairs and put on a pot of coffee. I heard Eric flip on the living room TV behind me and asked if he wanted something to eat. It was nearly 3:30 and we finally decided to escape the bedroom and spend some time in the real world. I still hadn't called my manager back, and he'd probably be calling me soon.

The coffee pot beeped and I prepared Eric a mug full, carrying it out to the living room I tried to cool it down by blowing away the steam. Carefully I handed the mug to Eric, "you might want to let it cool down, it's really hot."

"You spoil me," Eric teased after placing the coffee on the table.

"Well after all that hot love makin' I figured you needed something in return," I winked and kissed his cheek. He draped his arm around my shoulders and flipped through the channels. 'Waiting…' was on Comedy Central and Eric clicked enter on the remote.

"I fucking love this movie," he exclaimed placing the remote down on the table next to his cooling coffee.

"Me too," I laughed cuddling up to his side, "Ryan Reynolds is a walking orgasm."

"Oh ouch," Eric clutched his arm pretending I'd shot him, "that hurt."

"Oh shut up," I play smacked his 'hurt' arm, "you know you're my shmexy man."

Intertwining our fingers Eric kissed my forehead and breathed a sigh of relief, "and you are my shmexy women."

The movie faded to a "Cash for Gold" commercial and I looked up at Eric, "I wonder how much I'd get if I sent you in to Cash for…" I stopped as turned towards the TV, a Target commercial flashed across the screen and "Kennedy" blasted out of the speakers.

"Want to get your holiday shopping done early?" a voice spoke swiftly over my song, "stop in to the Target in your town and pick up recording artist Britta's new album 'All These Mistakes I've Made' set to be released next month." A picture of me flashed across the screen, my jaw dropped.

"Was I just in a fucking Target commercial?" I screamed rhetorically.

"Babe, that's awesome!" Eric yelled wrapping his arms around me.

I hopped off the couch and danced around to no music in particular, "holy shit this is really happening!"

Eric joined me in my awkward dancing, and I collapsed into his chest, "oh my god!" I exhaled, "I can't believe this."

Eric held me in his arms and spun around, "babe, you were just in a fucking Target commercial!"

"Ahhh, I know!" I squeaked.

"I'm so proud of you," Eric shook his head in pride, "I told you this album was going to be amazing. Still afraid no one's going to buy it?"

"I love you, I love you, I love you," I kissed him hard, "thank you for believing in me, I don't know where I'd be without you."

"I love you more," Eric kissed the top of my head.

"Oh my god, I have to call my manager," I screamed and ran for my phone, "where's my phone, where's my phone?" I whined.

"Babe, calm down," Eric chuckled, "it's upstairs, right where you left it."

I whirled around, "thank you," I kissed him again, this time softly, "god I love you."

Almost tripping twice I ran upstairs and grabbed my phone, pacing around the room I waited for my manager to pick up the other line.

"Britta! Nice to hear from you," he answered sarcastically, "have you seen the commercial?"

"Mark! I'm so sorry it took so long for me to call back, and yes!" I screamed into the phone, "you did not tell me I was going to be on a Target commercial, I just majorly lost my shit."

Mark laughed on the other line, "we wanted it to be a surprise," he explained.

"Well that was the best surprise of my life, and trust me I've had more 'surprises' in the past 24 hours than a girl could ever need."

"Well, I have one more surprise for you," I could tell Mark was smiling while he spoke, "Taylor Swift has signed on for a duet. It's being written while we speak."

My heart stopped, "TAYLOR SWIFT!" I screamed, "I'm going to do a duet with Taylor fucking Swift?"

"Well," Mark began, "as soon as you get your ass out here to LA. Now when can you get here?"

"I, I," I stuttered.

"Britta," a voice behind me softly came out of nowhere. I turned around and met eyes with Eric who was standing in the doorway.

"Eric," I ran over to him, "you're not going to believe this, I…" Eric grabbed my hand and I stopped talking.

Looking deep into my eyes he calmly whispered, "Marry me."

* * *

**holy crap, did you just die? cause i did.**

**reviews would be awesome!!!**


	9. Dreams are real

**dying to find out what happens? well so am i ;) hope you enjoy! :D**

* * *

I sat on the living room couch as Andrew set up the Wii and cursed under his breath when he stubbed his pinky on the back on the entertainment center. Nick sat in the recliner and took another sip of his Samuel Adams.

"Dude, I'd like to play today!" he laughed yelling at Andrew.

Justin came around the corner followed by Eric and sat down on the other end of the sectional. Eric plopped down next to me and kissed my temple. Staring at the TV that now displayed the Wii's warning message I twisted my wedding band around my ring finger.

"I can't believe I got married," I thought to myself, "I'm a wife."

"FINA-FUCKING-LY!" Nick screamed and jumped out of seat and grabbed the Wii-mote, "I call Britta on my team!"

I rolled my eyes, "you only want me on your team cause I'm the only one who can hit 8 homers in a row."

"Hell yeah," nick laughed and selected Baseball, "who else is on our team?"

"I will be," Andrew stood up from being crouched next to the TV.

"Hey no fair," Justin whined, "that's three against two, and Britta's really good."

"Fiiiiine," Nick mocked Justin, "Andrew will you be on Justin and Eric's team before he cries?"

Andrew agreed and took a seat next to Justin on the couch, "just tell me when I'm up," he bellowed stretching out on the couch.

"Eric you pitch," Nick motioned for him to stand up, "I'm at bat first."

Eric got up off the couch and grabbed the other Wii-mote, "you're going down!" he threatened.

Three strikes later Nick sat down and pouted, "you suck!"

"I can't help it if I pitch like a pro," Eric replied laughing and reclaiming his seat on the couch.

"You're up Britta," Justin smiled handing me the Wii-Mote.

"Go get em Wifey," Eric play slapped my arm as I began to stand up.

As soon as my butt came off the couch I felt myself falling, soon my face came crashing into the carpet with a loud thud…

I woke up with a jump and frantically searched the room with my eyes, clutching my chest I looked down at my empty ring finger.

"Jesus," I exhaled deeply, "not the dreams again."

I was in my LA apartment, and this was the sixth day in a row I'd woken up from a dream of back home. Finally catching my breath I reached for my phone, "8:52 AM" it flashed in my face as I clicked unlock. Just as I was about to check my voicemail "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha came pounding through the little speakers. "Incoming call from: Eric" the screen read. I clicked talk and brought the iPhone up to my ear.

"Good Morning," I cooed into the phone, my voice still sounding rough.

"Good morning beautiful," I got chills as I heard his voice, I missed him so much.

"It happened again," I whispered shaking the hair out of my face.

"The dreams?" Eric asked.

"Yeah," I began, "this one we were playing Wii in the living room."

I could hear Eric laughing on the other line, "this is not funny!" I yelled through my own chuckles.

"It's kinda funny babe," Eric replied.

"It is not! I miss you," I crawled out of bed and slipped on my moccasins.

"I miss you too," his voice dropped and I could tell this was really hard for him.

"Guess what I'm doing today?" I tried to lighten the mood.

"What?" Eric asked sounding chipper.

"I'm recording with Taylor Swift!" I exclaimed into the phone.

"Oh man," Eric chuckled under his breath, "Nick is going to be so jealous. I swear he wants to marry her or something…" his voice trailed off.

"Eric," I whispered into the phone, "you know I didn't say 'no' because I don't love you, I said 'no' because right now is not the best time for us to get married."

"I, I know" Eric stuttered, "I completely understand."

It had been in nearly two weeks since Eric purposed, and a week since I left for LA. I had already recorded one of the two songs I'd needed to finish up for the album and Eric was leaving for another tour in a few days. Marriage was not the best thing for us, and it hurt more than anything saying no, but it's not like we had broken up, we just needed time to think before we hopped on the marriage wagon. I mean I was 19, and Eric was 21, we were way too young to get married, or at least I was.

"How's Pat and Kennedy?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"Pat's home," Eric began to explain, "and Kennedy's still in the hospital, I guess his head injury was more serious then they'd thought. He's okay I guess, but they want to keep him there and track his motor skills and watch for seizures."

"Seizures?" I cried into the phone, "oh my god!"

"No, no he hasn't had one, they want to make sure he's not going to," Eric assured me.

"Oh thank goodness," I sighed in relief and poured myself a bowl of cereal.

"I don't know what this is going to mean for the tour," Eric began, "they already pushed it back a week, I think they're just going to cancel it, I mean Kennedy can't walk."

"The tour!" I gasped, "how are you guys gonna go on tour with The Maine if 2/5 of them are injured."

"That's what I want to know," Eric was obviously distressed, "if The Maine pulls out, and we can't find another band, the tours off."

"What about The Summer Set?" I suggested.

"They just finished up a tour with Cartel," he explained, "and now they're working on recording some stuff for the Deluxe Version of Love Like This."

"Oh wow," biting my nails I tried to think of something, "what about me? I could tour with you guys, it'd be perfect, I could open for you…"

Eric interrupted me, "babe, you know that would be amazing, but you have to stay in LA and finish your album. There is no way I'm letting you walk away from something like this; you owe it to the fans to get this album done."

"Ugh," I groaned, "I hate when you're right."

I heard distant voices in the background, "who's that?" I asked confused.

Eric laughed, "fricken Nick and Andrew," the noises got louder, "I guess they don't understand what SLEEP IS."

I laughed and took a sip of orange juice, "tell the guys I miss them too."

"Nick, Andrew, Justin," Eric called, "Britta's on the phone, and she says she misses you."

"BRITTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAA!" Nick monster called in the background.

Laughing I replied, "don't forget to tell him what I'm doing today."

"Oh Nick guess what?" Eric sing-songed.

"Whatttt?" Nick mocked him.

"Britta's recording with T-Swift today," I could hear Nick freak out in the background.

"Give me the phone," he screamed and soon screamed into my ear, "Britta, you gotta, you gotta put in a good word for me alright."

I started laughing hysterically, "Nick, I'll do the best I can alright?"

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," he exclaimed before Eric took the phone back.

"Well I'm gonna go take a shower before we have to start practicing alright," he sighed, "I'll talk to you soon, I love you."

"I love you more," I replied before hanging up.

Tossing my bowl in the sink I danced around the kitchen, "I'm recording with Taylor Swift!" I screamed out loud for no one in particular to hear.

* * *

**wellllllllllllll, did i scare you? **

**sorry! but some intense stuff is about to go down.**

**reviews = sunshine :)**


	10. Swiftly we dance

**anybody else pumped for TSwift to enter the story? cause i know i am! hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

Sitting in the recording studio I picked at my nails and scorned myself for wearing such a drab outfit. I had on Eric's favorite black skinny jeans; only one of the numerous things of his I'd brought, a teal plaid shirt from Snakes & Suits, and low top converses. Taylor would probably walk in looking like she'd stepped off the red carpet, she was undeniably gorgeous and I couldn't help but be a little jealous-nervous about meeting her.

Mark walked over to me, steaming cup of Starbucks in hand and blue tooth in ear, "you alright?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied trying to crack a smile.

"Don't be nervous," Mark began obviously seeing through my pretense, "Taylor is one of the sweetest girls I know, and she's really excited to do this song."

Before I could respond a petite redhead assistant, whom I later learned was name Christy, came running and tapped Mark on the shoulder, "Taylors here," her expression brightened with every word.

Mark looked back at me, "alright, you got this."

"I got this," I assured him, whist my stomach did flips and hurdles.

I followed Mark and Christy into the green room where there were refreshments on the table for Taylor and her people. I assumed she'd have a whole crew with her, now that her career was blowing up, but I was surprised when the door opened and only Taylor, her mother, and her manager stepped inside.

"Taylor sweetie," Mark pulled her into a hug and a smile crept across her face, "so nice to see you again!"

"Well it's so nice to see you," she squeaked, "and it's so great to be here! I'm so excited to record this song! Where's Britta, I want to meet her!?!"

Taylor, Taylor Swift wanted to meet me? Oh no, no, no, I was the one shaking and almost in tears I was so nervous to meet her. I was no one, she was the undefeated artist of the year, I'd never even been to an award show.

"She's right here," Mark motioned for me to come out from hiding behind Christy, who stood with her mouth curled into a nervous smile; she must have been as big a fan I was. I stepped out from behind Christy and smiled shyly.

"Well come here," Taylor waved me over into a hug, "it's so nice to meet you!"

She was just as gorgeous up close as I'd imagined, her thick blonde hair fell down her shoulders in perfect beach waves and her pouty pink lips sparkled in the green room's fluorescent lights.

"It's a dream to meet you," my own voice sounded foreign to me as I said the words.

Taylor laughed and pulled me into another hug, "you're so cute."

"Well now we're introduced let's start working on this song," Mark announced in his husky father-like voice.

"Let's!" Taylor squeaked and grabbed my hand, "I'm so excited."

"Me too!" I chuckled trying to grasp the situation.

We sat in the recording studio and Mark passed us lyric sheets, "now I know you girls have been listening to the song for a few weeks, but I figured you'd want the lyric sheet anyway."

"Good idea," Taylor replied reading over the lyrics, "I love this song."

"Alright," Mark twirled in his chair over to the switch board, "if you girls don't have any questions, comments, or concerns we can get started."

I followed Taylor into the sound booth and noticed for the first time what she was wearing; grey sweats, a Paramore shirt, and beige Ugg boots, I then stopped punishing myself for dressing so down.

Taylor put the head phones on over her hair and pulled out her phone, "let's get a picture" she smiled and hit the camera button on the side of her phone. She pulled me into her side and flashed a toothy grin, I smiled along with her and she clicked "capture."

"Perfect," she smiled, "I'm sending this to twitter. What's your user name?"

"Viva_La_Britta" I replied nervously.

"Alright," she smiled and flipped her phone shut, "all sent."

I couldn't believe this, not only was Taylor the nicest girl I've ever met, she just tweeted a picture of us for all her 1,000,000+ followers to see. I almost passed out when my phone vibrated in my pocket and "Come In With The Rain" started playing. Taylors face lit up,

"Shut up," she gawked, "you do nawt have my song as your ringtone!"

I turned bright read, "I'm a really big fan," I reached for my phone and read the screen.

Taylor cleared her throat and called into the mike before I could click open, "excuse me Mark," she began, "can I take her home with me?"

Mark laughed and I blushed. "So who called you?" Taylor asked laughing.

"It was a text," I explained finally clicking open, "from my boyfriend."

"Ohh, what's it say?" Taylor cooed.

Reading the text out loud I turned bright red again, "hey babe, just saw Taylors tweet! I'm so proud of you! Have fun spending the day with your idol, and at the end of the month I get to spend the rest of my days with mine. I love and miss you."

"That Was The Sweetest Thing I've Ever Heard." Taylor squeaked separating every word.

I blushed and texted Eric back quickly, "love and miss you too. Taylor is amazing, I wish you could be here. Talk to you soon."

"Am I really your idol?" she asked teasingly.

"Is the sky really blue?" I replied a little more relaxed after hearing from Eric.

Taylor laughed and shuffled the papers around on her music stand, "you ready for this lovely?" she asked as I put my headphones on.

"Roger that," I replied and then soon regretted sounding so dorky.

"We're ready Mark," Taylor called into the microphone.

"Well finally," Mark laughed and hit a button on the switch board.

The soft introduction to the song "As Sweet As Sunday" filled my ears, I'd started writing the song with Mark a few months before, but I never intended to be recording it with Taylor Swift, oh how life changes. The papers were marked when either of us were singing and the parts where we sang together, the first verse was me so I sucked in a deep breath and began to sing the first line,

"_Yesterday I saw the sun from the sky._

_And yesterday I watched my life pass me by._

_I'm sick and tired of waiting_

_And over appreciating the little things._

_I just need you here with me,_

_And yesterday would be nothing but a memory." _

Taylor closed her eyes and sang the first half of the chorus, her voice was undeniably beautiful,

"_And today, is a brand new day._

_And I'm okay, yeah I'm okay."_

Next was my half, and then we'd sing the rest of the chorus together,

"_And you babe, you make me wonder._

_Where would I be,"_

Taylor took in a deep breath and joined me,

"_Without you here to chase the rain away._

_And your love darling is as sweet as Sunday."_

Our voices blended and meshed beautifully, I couldn't believe how amazing we sounded. Mark gave a thumbs up from behind the glass, I smiled and kept singing.

As the end of the song faded away I closed my eyes and breathed in the moment. Taylor wrapped her arms around me, "that was amazing!" she exclaimed.

"You were amazing," I corrected her.

"Oh shut up," she play slapped my arm, "you're voice is incredible."

"Congratulations girls," Marks voice came through the headsets.

"Thank you," we replied simultaneously.

Taylor took off the headphones and clutched her stomach, "I'm starving!" she whined.

"Oh me too," I groaned as my empty stomach growled.

"Wanna go somewhere for lunch?" she asked pulling her phone out again, "where do you wanna go?"

"I, I," I stuttered, "I've only been here for a little while, I don't really know any great places to eat yet."

"Well," she said typing something onto her key pad, "then I'll just have to lead the way huh?"

My head was spinning, "I, I guess so" I chuckled nervously.

"Your username is Viva_La_Britta, right?" Taylor asked not looking up from her phone.

"Uhm hm," I replied, wondering what she was typing.

"Alright," she clicked a few more times at the tiny keys, "how's this sound? 'Just finished recording with Viva_La_Britta. Going out to lunch now, this girl is my new best friend." She looked up at me smiling in search of approval.

"Sounds perfect," I calmly replied, whist I was screaming inside.

* * *

**how was that everybody? :) i wrote that song as i was writing the story hahaha :)**

**sooo many ideas for whats coming next, keep reading!**

**reviews = rainbows :D**


	11. Where are you now?

**extremely long i knowwwwww. but so completely worth it :D read up kiddies!**

* * *

"Babe you would not believe the day I had," I gushed into the phone before flopping on the bed.

"Tell me all about it," Eric yawned, "I got nothing but time."

It had been nearly a week since my lunch date with Taylor Swift and my album was nearly complete. The only things we had left to do were to pick out the album cover and photo arrangement, which I'd had my photo shoot for the day before, and it'd be done.

"Okay, so today I recorded the last song we needed to get done," I began to explain.

"And that being?" Eric asked interrupting me.

"Uh, it's a new one," I replied biting my lower lip.

"Oh really? What's it called?" Eric eagerly asked.

"The One Who Means It," I replied, "it's about being in love with someone who has a lot of people telling them how much they love and adore them every day, and how their love is actually real."

"Oh, um hm," Eric smiled through the phone, "and who is this about?"

"Why you of course," I blushed, "I guess it took two weeks away from you to be able to write about you."

"Well that's just too bad," Eric teased, "cause I never want to spend another two weeks without you."

"Well, I still have two weeks here," I sighed, "once the albums wrapped I still have the mini radio tour and release party."

"And you're going to get all that done in two weeks," Eric asked concerned, "are you sure?"

"I'm not sure about anything anymore," I whispered.

"What, what do you mean?" Eric asked nervously.

"Oh god honey, I'm not talking about us!" I quickly assured him, "I'm talking about being out here, I feel like we're getting nowhere."

Eric sighed, "You know this album is going to be amazing, right?"

"I'm hoping," I replied.

"Then there's nothing to worry about," Eric exhaled deeply, "just put your all into it, and watch the magic happen."

"God I love you," I whispered, "where would I be without you?"

"Hmmmm," Eric pondered, "New Jersey?"

* * *

Memories of college flashed through my head, before I'd gotten my internship at Fearless Records I went to Seaton Hall for a year with my best friend Sam. We stayed in my beach house off campus and went to class together every day. Now we barely talk, everything got awkward and messed up when I found out she was dating Kennedy back in October. Turns out Sam took over my internship at Fearless Records like I'd wanted her too, and also turns out she met Kennedy there and had no idea he was my ex "rockstar boyfriend." She broke up with him as soon as she found out of course, and now she had a new boyfriend at college.

I'd met Kennedy one day during my internship, I was the new girl who was still getting the hang of things and he was the hot guitarist in the band that was coming to record. From the moment he walked in the door and we locked eyes I knew there was something special about him and I'd instantly fallen for him.

"Hey!" he exclaimed once the band was settled inside, "my names Kennedy, are you new here I don't think I've seen you around before."

I was so nervous I almost forgot my name, "I, I," I stuttered, "I'm Britta, I just started here a few weeks ago, I'm just an intern."

"Right right," Kennedy shook his head, "I knew I hadn't seen you around before, I would have definitely remembered a pretty face like yours."

"Come on Kennedy," John Ohh whined, "leave the poor girl alone and let's get to recording."

"Shut up John," Kennedy called back shaking him off, "anyway, I hope you're sticking around for a while, I'd love for you to hear some of our stuff."

"Kennedy," I looked at him in disbelief, "I've listened to The Maine before, you're one of my favorite bands."

"Really?" his beautiful smile swept across his face, "that's awesome! Look John, she's a fan."

John came bounding over, "hi," he smiled and shook his hair, "I apologize for my friend Kennedy here; he's a little over friendly sometimes. It's nice to meet you, and good to hear you're a fan."

"It's nice to meet you too," I smiled, "John Ohh."

"Well, do you wanna watch us record some stuff?" Kennedy asked butting in front of John.

"That, that would be amazing," I gawked, "but I have to get back to work."

"Eh, don't worry about it," Kennedy smirked and led me towards the sound studio, "they'll understand, you're with the band."

Still in amazement I sat in the studio and watched as The Maine rehearsed "Whoever She Is." Kennedy strummed along and looked up at me; we locked eyes as I sang along. When they finished the song I stood up and clapped, John Ohh smiled and Garrett gave me a look.

"Oh sorry guys," Kennedy stood up and walked over to me, "this is Britta, she's an intern here, and she's a fan too."

Garrett, Jared, and Pat all smiled and waved, I smirked and sat back down. Kennedy took a seat next to me,

"So," he began, "how long have you been in California?"

"I flew out as soon as I got accepted for the internship," I explained, "I'm originally from Connecticut, but I've been living in New Jersey for college."

"College?" Kennedy asked astonished, "how old are you?"

"I turned 18 in July," I admitted.

"Oh wow," Kennedy's eyes widened, "you look so much older."

"Thanks?" I laughed awkwardly.

Kennedy laughed, "Don't worry, it's a good thing. I'm turning 20 in September."

"Hello," John Ohh called into the microphone, "Earth to Kenny!"

Kennedy hopped up, "sorry, we'll talk later."

That day my life changed forever, I wasn't "Britta College Student" anymore; I was the future girlfriend of Kennedy Brock. Only one problem, he was still dating Gabi, and I had no idea. If I had known, I would have known what a dog he was back then. But I was blinded, mostly by the huge bouquet of roses I found on my desk the next morning. There was a tag attached to three of the stems tied together, "Dinner tonight? –Kennedy." My head was spinning; I pinched myself a few times to make sure it was real.

Kennedy showed up at the studio an hour before my shift ended, alone. He bombarded into my office and hopped up on my desk,

"Did you like the flowers?" he asked kicking his feet.

"They're beautiful Kennedy," I replied smiling, "but isn't this a little weird. I mean we just met yesterday, we're practically strangers."

"Everyone's a stranger until you take the time to get to know them," Kennedy replied.

"Touché" I replied finally convinced.

Kennedy took me out to dinner that night, and the night after that, and the night after that. Eventually I fell head over heels for him, and it felt good knowing he was falling back. I didn't find out until 3 months into our relationship that he'd broken up with Gabi the night of the day he met me at the studio. I wanted to be mad, but I couldn't help but feel special, he knew we were going to be together from the moment he met me, that had to mean something. After 6 months I came to the conclusion that I wasn't going back to college, I called Seton Hall and left a message with the secretary that I was withdrawing from all my classes and sending the rest of this semester's tuition. I called my beach house a few times but Sam never picked up, I eventually left a voicemail saying I was sorry I hadn't called in a while and that I didn't have much time to explain but I wasn't coming back to New Jersey. I moved out of my apartment in Huntington Beach and into Kennedy's in Scottsdale where I met Eric and the rest of A Rocket To The Moon, This Century, and The Summer Set. I had always had a crush on Brian from The Summer Set, an innocent one at the least, and Brian loved teasing Kennedy about it. He'd always threaten to steal me away and Kennedy would threaten to kick his ass. This went on for a long while until Brian started dating Chelsea Staub, and my crush slowly faded away.

Kennedy and I had fallen in love in what felt like days, funny how he fought so hard to get my attention to lose it all after one bad decision.

* * *

"Babe, you there?" I heard Eric ask in my ear.

I shook out of my trance, "oh hey, sorry I just spaced out for a second."

Eric laughed, "no problem, what were you spacing about?"

"Nothing important," I replied, "well at least now it's not."

"Alright," Eric suspiciously replied.

"Eric," I dazed again flipping over on my side, "have you ever thought about how different our lives would be if I'd never met Kennedy."

"Well that's awkward," Eric sighed.

"No, I mean think about it. If I'd never met Kennedy then I'd never have come to Arizona. I would never have met you, and I never would have gone on Warped with you guys."

"And Kennedy never would have cheated on you," Eric added.

"And you would have never been there to save me," I started to choke on my own words.

"It's crazy how life turns out, I mean this last time last year we were complete strangers," Eric expressed.

"Everyone's a stranger until you take the time to get to know them," I whispered.

"What was that babe?" Eric asked confused.

"Oh nothing, nothing, I uh, I'm really tired, I think I'm gonna get some sleep," I stuttered into the phone.

"Oh alright babe, goodnight, talk to you tomorrow." Eric suspiciously replied.

"Eric," I whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too," Eric exhaled deeply, "goodnight beautiful."

"Goodnight," I replied before hanging up.

I clutched my phone in my hand and contemplated what I was about to do, before I could change my mind I hit 0 and pressed talk. The recorder picked up and asked where I'd like to be connected,

"Arizona state hospital please," I requested.

The operator connected me over and soon a receptionist answered the phone, "hello this is Arizona state hospital how may I help you."

"Uhm yes, can you connect me to room A-11?" I asked into the phone my voice shaking.

"One moment please," the receptionist said before connecting me over, the phone rang until Kennedy picked up on the other line.

"Hello," Kennedy answered his voice sounding like he had recovered.

"Kennedy," I whispered into the phone.

"Britta?" Kennedy asked confused, "is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me Kenny," I replied holding back the tears, "I just wanted to call and see how you were doing."

"I, I'm doing alright I guess, they say I can go home tomorrow, my head should be fine. But I still have my cast, and I still can't put a lot of weight on my left foot," he explained.

"That's really great Kenny," I exclaimed trying to sound happier than I truly was.

"You didn't really call to see how I was did you?" Kennedy asked slyly.

"No," I admitted, "I didn't."

"Well then what's up, you had to have called for some reason," Kennedy chuckled.

I loved his laugh, "I, I called to say thank you," I finally replied.

"Thank you, for what?" he chuckled again and I could picture him shaking his hair out of his face.

"For changing my life, for believing in me when I didn't believe in myself, for showing me what love is," the tears started falling.

"I didn't do anything," Kennedy modestly replied, "you would doing what you're doing now without me anyway, you're amazing."

"No Kenny, you're wrong," I cried, "I'd be no one without you."

"Don't say that," Kennedy argued pushing his voice now, "you did all this, you should be proud of yourself."

"Kennedy, you're so damn stubborn," I laughed, "you changed my life, deal with it."

"Well obviously I didn't do that good of a job since I still broke your heart," his voice trailed off.

"Kennedy, I am so past that now. We can't hold that above us for the rest of our lives," I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply.

"I know," Kennedy sighed.

"You really did change my life Kennedy, that's something I want you to hold above us," I dazed.

"Well whatever I did, you're welcome," he laughed and I smiled.

"It was really nice to talk to you Kenny," I wiped my eyes and sighed in relief.

"Well it was nice that you called," Kennedy chuckled, "I missed talking to you."

"You too buddy," rolled over on my back again, "goodnight Kennedy."

"Goodnight Britta," Kennedy replied before we hung up.

Just as I laid my head on the pillow and shut my eyes my phone vibrated, "my kingdom for some sleep!" I screamed.

Grabbing my phone I checked the screen, "Mark?"

I clicked talk, "Hey Britta hope I didn't wake you but I've got some news," Mark chirped as soon as we were connected.

"Oh it's alright Mark, what's the news?" I yawned and sat up.

"Well your buddies in The Summer Set are stopping by the studio tomorrow and they want you to record a duet with them for Love Like This: Deluxe Version."

"WHAT?!?" I exclaimed jumping out of bed, "what song?"

"I believe it's called 'Where Are You Now?' they said you loved the song and they didn't have the heart to let anyone do it but you," Mark explained.

Where Are You Now was my favorite song by The Summer Set, they played it for me whist we were on tour and I fell in love with the lyrics. They had a couple girls in mind to sing it with them but they hadn't narrowed it down yet, and now they wanted me to do it!

"Oh my god," I screeched, "I'm so excited, tell them I'm definitely doing the song."

"Alright," Mark chuckled, "that's great news cause Brian said he was very excited to sing with you."

So maybe my crush on Brian hadn't faded away that much…

* * *

**oh snap! what does this mean?**


	12. Punch Drunk Love

**okay guys this is the LONGEST chapter ever, but so worth the read :) it's funny (i hope!) and brings a whole new aspect and adventure!! :D**

**and p.s. i tweeted about my fanfiction to Brian Dales on twitter and he tweeted me back! **

**Leave a review Brian if you're reading :)**

* * *

The next day I headed to the studio around 6, after spending the day watching YouTube videos and missing home. I checked my hair and lip gloss is the metallic walls of the elevator and finally stepped into the lobby,

"Morning Shelly," I smiled at the receptionist sitting at the desk like I did every morning. She smiled back and I continued into Marks office. I laid my stuff down in the green room and wandered into the studio where I was met by 6 smiling faces.

"Britta," Mark hopped out of his seat at the switch board, "so nice of you to join us."

"I'm not late am I?" I laughed, "you said 6 this morning."

Mark smiled, "nope you're not late, it's just about time you go here."

"Alrighty," I replied rolling my eyes, "Hey guys!" I waved at The Summer Set.

John twirled around in his chair with his lens-less glasses on and a string on twisler limply hanging out of his mouth, "hi Britta," he smiled. John was probably the most attractive one in the band with his sculpted face and high cheek bones, but to me he was like a brother, we'd basically became best friends on the last tour.

Jess jumped out of her chair in all her gorgeousness and hugged me, "oh man it's been friggen forever girlfriend, how've you been?" I loved her personality; Jess always knew how to put a smile on your face.

"I've been good, "I replied over her shoulder, "I missed you guys a whole bunch though."

"We missed you too doll," Brian winked. My heart fluttered for a second, and then I instantly felt guilty.

Josh and Stephen smiled and waved me over to sit down, "so how excited are you to do this song?" Josh gushed.

"Very, very, very," I replied laughing.

Brian sat a few feet away from me as we all talked about how amazing the song would come out, I could tell from his face he wasn't fully there. I pulled Jess aside,

"Hey what's up with Brian?" I asked.

"You don't know?" she wrinkled her brow.

"Well I've been a little out of the loop," I explained, "you know being cooped up in an apartment and all."

"Oh gosh," Jess sighed and pushed the bangs out of her face, "Him and Chelsea broke up a few weeks ago, something about distance, he didn't fully explain why."

My heart hurt for Brian, "oh my god," I whispered, "that really sucks, he really loved her."

"Yeah, ya think?" Jess rolled her eyes at me and put her hand on my shoulder, "so I don't know for sure, but recording this song might be a little hard for him. That's why I'm glad he's doing it with you, you guys can work off each other."

"What do you mean?" I snuffed.

"Oh come on," she slapped my arm, "don't even try and pretend like you haven't had the hotts for Brian since like forever."

"I do not!" I gawked.

"Do too," she stuck her tongue out at me, "but don't worry, he know's it's just a baby crush, at least you can joke about it."

"I guess you're right," I shook it off laughing.

We walked back to the circle and Mark nudged Brian's arm, "hey yo buddy," he smirked, "you ready to record?"

Brian shot up, "Hell yeah I am!"

"Alright let's go," I pumped my fist in the air and followed Brian into the sound booth. He put the headphones on and cleared his throat,

"You pumped?" he asked finally breaking out in a smile.

"Yes I am!" I shook my head with each word and put the headset on.

Brian gave Mark and thumbs up at the screeching beginning of "Where Are You Now?" filled my ears. Brian sighed deeply and closed his eyes; I could tell the lyrics were going to hit him hard. The acoustic guitar set in and he softly began to sing,

"_I've been staying awake in the front seat for days  
Let the wheel turn and take me away  
Oh, the truth I must tell  
Is I'm lonely as hell  
Still looking for myself…"_

I could hear the hurt in Brian's voice and my heart sank, he didn't deserve to be hurting, he was such an amazing guy. I looked over at Brian and began singing my part,

"_It rains all day when you're not around  
And I'm trying my best to come clean with the clouds  
They follow me around  
I'll dance 'till the rain comes down…"_

Brian joined me for the chorus and I lightly sang the melody,

"_Stuck in the sand with the waves at my feet  
And I wish you'd come crash into me  
'Cause where you are is where I wanna be now  
Where are you now?"_

Brians face started to fall as he sang the net verse and I placed my hand gently on his shoulder blade and mouthed, "Just breathe."

"_And I know I'm not perfect but what the hell  
Do you think of me now?"_

As my hand slowly began to sling back to me it dragged down Brians arm and when it reached his hand he quickly linked pinkies with me,

"_Do you think of me now?" _I sang locking eyes with Brian,

"_They say that love is for the patient  
Gotta plan for being restless for now…"_

Before Brian sang his next verse he adjusted his hand and soon all out fingers were intertwined, he looked up at me and smiled, I had to admit I was glad he wasn't feeling crappy.

"_Hope I'm more than a cheap trick you played on yourself  
But I do it so well," _Brian sang still locking eyes.

"_Yeah, I'm doing so well," I began my part, "They follow me around,  
I'll dance 'till the rain comes down…"_

Brian joined me on the chorus,

"_Stuck in the sand with the waves at my feet  
And I wish you'd come crash into me  
'Cause where you are is where I wanna be now  
Where are you now?"_

The instrumental break set in and we continued to grasp hands, Brian sighed in relief and looked up at me and smiled, "thank you," he mouthed.

"No problem," I mouthed back, "you alright?"

"I'm better now," he replied before he had to sing again,

"_But when I leave  
She walks and she talks and she stirs my feet  
Like she's sleeping next to me…"_

I knew I had to "Hah" the harmony in the background and continued until the end of the song.

"_It doesn't matter where we are  
It doesn't matter where we are  
It doesn't matter if we're states apart  
She loves me…"_

We dropped hands and Brian slowly took off his headphones and walked towards the door, Mark hadn't even hit "end" yet and at the end of the song you can hear the door open, from Brian, close, open again, from me, and close again. Mark wanted to delete it, I suggested we keep it.

Brian joined the rest of the band back in the studio and sat down, I followed and kept my eyes on the floor, I didn't know how to feel about the situation.

"Well guys, that was great!" Mark finally announced breaking the silence.

"Thanks man," Brian replied, "and thank you Britta, for helping me get through this."

"No problem Bri," I replied taking a seat next to John, "I know how it feels to need someone when you're hurting."

Everyone looked at each other and smiled, getting the song done was a huge milestone that only The Summer Set had passed, but I did myself. Recording this song was a dream and I had just watched it come true.

"Well," Josh stretched, "what does everyone want to do now?"

"I want to get fucking smashed," Brian admitted rubbing his eyes.

Everyone agreed and slapped hands, "one problem!" I broke through the celebration, "none of us are 21."

We all turned and stared down Mark, "oh no, oh no no no," he backed up.

"Come on Mark," I whined, "I deserve to be able to get drunk after the way you've been working me."

"Yeah and come on we have to get Britta and Brian drunk so they can fuck and get it over with and stop undressing each other with their eyes," Jess teased.

Brian looked up in shook, his eyes widened and jaw dropped, "you did NOT just say that," he gawked putting emphasis on the "not."

"Jess, you bitch!" I scream-laughed, "I'm going to kill you."

For the first time in a while I stopped missing home and started to just feel free, I'd probably had more fun spending an hour with The Summer Set than I did having lunch with Taylor Swift…well maybe not _that_ much fun.

Mark ended up buying us a few bottles of Smirnoff Vodka and we retired to my apartment, after a few shots we were feeling a little loose.

"Hey Britta," Brian slurred as he stumbled over, "you got Harry Potter on DVD? I uh, I wanna show you my wife Emma Watson."

"I thought I was your wife," I teased hoping I was speaking to the right Brian since three figures of him stood in front of me.

"Oh you are," Brian started laughing, "just don't tell Emma," he sloppily put his finger up to his lips and "shhhed."

Jess flopped down on the couch and kicked off her shoes, "I want to go swimming!" she screamed.

"Jess, It's fucking November!," I yelled back, "and there is NO WAY I'd let you get in a pool right now!"

"Oh be quiet you," she shot up, "I'm not even that drunk," before she could finish her sentence her arm slipped off the couch and landed on the floor. Half of her face hung off the edge of the couch and she started laughing hysterically.

Josh and Stephen stood in the kitchen mixing different combinations of juices I had in the fridge with their vodka,

"This is going to taste SO FUCKING GOOD," Stephen exclaimed pouring lemon juice, cranberry juice, and ice cubes into his glass, he was obviously very excited about the mixture.

"Well check this shit out!" Josh announced and held up his glass, "chocolate sauce, cherries, a little cranberry juice and straight vodka trick."

My stomach turned, "Josh that's disgusting," even intoxicated I knew that was going to taste nasty.

"Bottoms up!" Stephen and Josh yelled simultaneously and chugged their drinks, "Ahhh," they slammed their glasses down and squeezed their eyes shut.

"Hell yeah!" they high fived.

"Ugh," John groaned, "sorry to sound like a party pooper, but I'm exhausted."

John hadn't drank much and had spent most of the night on the deck watching the stars, it amazed me how different him and Stephen were, John was so much more artsy and mysterious, I liked it.

"Well, I don't think it's safe for any of us to drive," I replied trying to hatch a plan, "and your guy's hotel is pretty far away."

"Yeah," John agreed shaking his hair, "can we crash here?"

"Of course," I smiled, "I don't see why not…" I looked around the living room, "the couch is pretty small out here."

"Yeah and I think Jess already called the couch anyway," John laughed and looked over at the nearly unconscious Jess face down on the couch.

"I'm not asleep," her voice muffled into the cushion, "I'm just resting my head."

I laughed and tried to think of sleeping arrangements, "uhm okay, in the bed room there's like a little room like cave thing," I tried to explain, "if you go in there there's a cot, somebody can have that."

"Alright, sounds good," John yawned and scratched the back of his head moving his hair up and down, "I guess I call that."

I smiled and took another sip of my drink, "sounds good."

"You got any good books?" John asked.

"Uhm random," I replied laughing, "yeah I brought a few with me, they're on that shelf right there," I pointed towards the case next to the TV.

"Sweet," John eyed the books, "usually I read before going to bed, you mind if I check some out?"

"No that's fine," I waved my hand in the air, "knock yourself out."

John walked over to the case and crouched down, soon finding a book that seemed interesting he returned to the porch and sat down on the concrete.

"I should probably go get the cot out so we can figure out who's sleeping where," I slurred to Brian before stumbling towards the bedroom.

"Not if I get it out first!" he ran past me and flew open the door.

"Hey, no fair you cheated!" I ran after him, "you don't even know where the cot is!"

I ran in the room and looked all around for Brian but he'd disappeared, "SLAM" the door shut behind me and I jumped, just as I whipped around Brian snuck out from behind the door where he'd been hiding and tackled me to the ground.

"What the hell," I screamed, "you scared the shit out of me."

"I'm sorry," Brian smirked and pinned my arms down to the ground.

I tried to wiggle out of his grasp, "let me go!" I giggled.

"Nope, not happening" Brian smiled and pinned me down harder.

Biting my lower lip I watched as the three images of Brian faded into one and I didn't know if it was the alcohol or the fact the my head was spinning because of the alcohol, but before I knew it Brians lips quickly crashed into mine, and mine crashed back.

"Brian," I whispered, "did we just kiss?"

"Oh shit," he sat up, "I think we did."

"Holy shit, we did, didn't we?" I sat up rubbing my forehead.

"Yeah, we did." Brian dazed.

This went on for about five minutes, I couldn't believe we'd actually kissed, but I couldn't fully process the situation with a gut full of Smirnoff.

"We kissed," Brian whispered in disbelief.

"This is doesn't leave this room," I warned.

"No of course not," Brian stood up, stumbled and caught himself on the wall.

"Let's uh, let's get the cot out so John can go to bed," I suggested standing up.

"Good idea," Brian let go of the wall and followed me to the little cave.

"That kiss," Brian began, "it was an 'I've got a crush on you, you've got a crush on me, let's do this and it's over' kiss right?"

"Yeah, I think that's what we can call it," I agreed.

"Okay," Brian smiled, "well I'm glad my first 'I've got a crush on you, you've got a crush on me, let's do this and it's over' kiss was you."

"My first was," my heart stopped, "Eric."

"Oh," Brians face fell, "you don't have to tell him about this, we were just messing around, we're friends right? It's just like you kissing Jess."

Laughing hysterically I clutched my stomach, "for one; if I kissed Jess, Eric would probably want to hear about it," I steadied myself on the wall, "and Brian I don't really think kissing after having a crush on you, for like what 3 years, is not messing around."

Brian laughed, "well you can tell Eric you kissed Jess if you'd like," he rolled his eyes, "but this can be our secret, I promise."

"I like having secrets with you Brian," I purred and grabbed the cot.

"Damn girl," Brian sucked his teeth, "watch yo self."

We set up the cot and awkwardly walked back into the living room, but were soon relieve when no one seemed interested in what went down in the bedroom. Jess sat on the couch staring at the TV, John was comfortably reading on the porch and Josh and Stephen continued to mix drinks in the kitchen. I looked over at the counter and almost all my food was laid out and organized,

"Guys," I called over to the chemists in my kitchen, "what are you doing?"

Josh laughed and slid across the floor on his socks, "we're making ultimate drinks!"

"With my cereal and goldfish?" I asked trying to focus on what was on the counter.

"Well, we're not using everything," Josh lilted.

"Alright guys," I waved my arms in the air, "we are all WAY too drunk and need to sleep. Josh and Stephen put my food back in the cupboards, and the vodka in the fridge."

"Fine," they whined and started putting the stuff away.

"Brian," I looked up at him, "can you carry Jess into the bedroom, I don't want her sleeping out here alone, you know in case she stops breathing."

Brian laughed and walked over to Jess, "hey buddy," he tapped her shoulder, "you ready for bed?"

Jess looked at him and poked his nose, "yes I am!" she announced.

Brian flipped off the TV and swooped Jess up in his arms, "you got any blankets for her?"

"Don't worry about it," I replied, "there are blankets I brought from home and a whole extra bed set in the hall closet."

Brian shook his head and carried Jess into the bedroom, I stumbled over to the closet and grabbed a few sheets and pillows. Throwing them in the bedroom I noticed John still out on the porch,

"Hey lovey," I called out to him after sliding the door open, "you ready for bed?"

"Yeah," he replied standing up, "thanks for letting me borrow your book for the night."

"No problem," I replied once he was inside. The tip of his nose was pink and he was shivering, "aren't you freezing?" I asked.

"No I'm alright," he replied rubbing his arms, "living in Arizona all my life, I've learned to embrace the cold, I like feeling out of the ordinary."

"I see where you're coming from," I replied leading him to the bedroom, "being from Connecticut the first thing I looked forward to in Arizona was the warm weather."

Josh and Stephen finished cleaning up the kitchen and filed into the bed room behind us, John claimed the cot and Josh and Stephen lay down with Jess on the multiple sheets and blankets on the floor.

"Sorry I don't have pj's for you guys," I apologized once they were settled.

"It's alright," Stephen slurred, "I like sleeping in jeans, makes me feel tough."

Snorting I was laughing so hard I replied, "Alrighty Stevie, try and get some sleep," I stopped laughing once I realized Brian and I were still standing and the only place left open was my bed.

I looked over at him awkwardly, "ready for bed?"

"Uhm hm," he cleared his throat and we each headed for a separate side of the queen sized bed.

Brian got settled and I realized I was still in my close, shuffling out of bed I rifled through my dresser for pj's and padded towards the bathroom. I changed quickly and looked at myself in the mirror, I looked fucking wasted, looked like we had reached our goal.

Stumbling back to bed I crawled under the covers and turned over to face Brian,

"Are you fucking naked?" I asked noticing he wasn't wearing a shirt.

"No," he laughed, "chill, I took my shirt off. I can't sleep in shirts."

"Whatever," I mumble laughed before drifting to sleep.

* * *

The next morning I woke up my head pounding, but I then realized the pounding was coming from and outside source. Crawling out of bed my head floated, and I was still drunk from last night, the hangover wouldn't set in until about noon I'd guessed. Brian shook awake hearing the pounding also, but everyone else lay undisturbed. I slumped to the door and pulled it open, the kitchen and living room were empty and surprising clean after last night's events. The pounding was coming from the front door,

"Jesus," I groaned, "who is hear so damn early."

Dragging my feet to the door I slowly unlocked it and pulled it open, I sobered up instantly when I saw who it was,

"Surprise!" Eric exclaimed throwing his arms around me, bag in hand.

"Britta," a sleepy-eyed shirtless Brian came stumbling out of the bedroom, "who's at the door?

FUCK.

* * *

**hey everyone i'd like to take this time to say something.**

**a few moments before i posted this chapter i got an email of a review from an anonymous(sp?) reader.**

**they left a review saying "this was borderline insane, and blah blah blah they'd be creeped out if this was about them."**

**i want everyone to know right now that this is a fan FICTION, i and all the readers know this is not real.**

**there are 1234532345654324564325654987 fanFICTIONS in the world, not just mine, and i like creative writing.**

**i'm sorry if i offended anyone with this story, i was just having fun and writing away.**

**that review/email really hurt my feelings and i don't know who it's from, so i'm gonna forget it.**

**thanks for all the loyal readers, and nice people.**

**whoever left that review must not have known what FAN FICTION means, and i forgive them.**


	13. Chinese and Never Back Down?

**hey guys, i had decided i was going to stop workin on the story for a while because of a very hurtful review that i recieved that completely broke my spirit. but i knew there were a lot of eager readers out there that i didn't want to let down. enjoy everybody. :D**

* * *

"What the hell is going on?" Eric demanded stepping into the apartment.

"Eric I can explain," I calmly replied, I swore I had stopped breathing, "just let me explain."

"Explain what? That you cheated on me with Brian?" Eric threw his bag at the floor and punched the counter. Brian stood in the middle of the living room leaning on the couch shaking his head,

"Look man..." he tried to begin.

"You shut up," Eric boomed.

"Eric, dude you're not listening..." Brian began.

"I will fucking kill you," Eric lunged at Brian and he ducked.

"ERIC, "I screamed, "I didn't cheat on you, listen to me!"

"Listen to what?" Eric yelled back his face turning red as he backed up from the now flinching Brian.

"Everyone's here," I explained, "we all got a little drunk last night and I didn't want anyone driving anywhere, everyone crashed here."

Jess and John came running out of the bedroom, Jess blinked a few times and trembled before running to the bathroom and throwing up.

"See!" I motioned towards the fully sober John, who stood completely still in shock.

"Why," Eric began, "why isn't Brian wearing a shirt?"

Brian laughed, "Dude, I don't sleep in shirts man, never have."

Eric held his head in hands, "why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"Tell you what?" I began, "tell you I was having friends over and we were drinking. You're not my father Eric; I don't have to tell you everything. You didn't tell me you were coming!"

"I wanted to surprise you," he stood up from leaning on the counter, "the tour got cancelled because of Pat and Kennedy's accident and I drove all night to surprise you today. Looks like I'm the one who got the surprise."

"Eric that's really sweet," I replied walking over to the kitchen, "but you should be able to trust me enough to know that I'd never do that to you, and you of all people know what I've gone through."

"I, I know, I'm sorry," Eric walked over to Brian, "and I'm sorry too man."

"It's alright, I probably would have reacted the same way," Brian shrugged, "but you know I'd never do that to you man, Britta and I might joke about stuff like that, but it'd never happen."

The events of last night ran through my head and the image of Brian and I kissing made my heart hurt, there was no way I could tell Eric about it.

Josh and Stephen basically crawled into the living room rubbing their eyes, "what the hell am I awake right now?" Stephen whined.

"Hey guys," Eric smiled, "wild night?"

"Eric!" Josh exclaimed once his vision cleared, "how the hell are you?"

"I'm guess I'm alright now," Eric replied walking over to me, "as long as we're alright."

"We're fine," I breathed resting my head on his chest, "we're perfectly fine."

* * *

After everyone sobered up The Summer Set eventually took off back to their hotel, leaving Eric and I alone to talk.

"So how did everyone end up sleeping here again?" he asked sitting down on the couch.

"Funny story," I began, "Brian and I recorded 'Where Are You Now' and he was really upset about Chelsea, he said he wanted to get smashed, so we did."

"Oh wow, that must've been interesting," Eric rolled his eyes, "man I didn't even know those guys drank."

"Well neither did I," I laughed, "well actually John didn't drink much."

"Did Stephen?" Eric asked.

"Yeah, why?" I replied suspiciously.

"Well, they're dad's kind of an alcoholic," Eric explained, "Stephen tries to ignore it and John pretends like it doesn't bother him, but it does."

"Oh man," I sighed, "that's really sad."

Sitting on the couch for a while in silence I finally sighed and stood up, "follow me," I suggested taking his hand. I led him out onto the deck, I grasped the rail and Eric wrapped his arms around my waist,

"What a beautiful view," he dazed watching the sun begin to set.

"The first night I came out here to LA," I began to explain, "I came out here on this deck and cried and watched the sun set, I was scared and alone, and I missed you. And every night after that I'd come out and watch the sun set and think of home."

"Well I'm here now," he kissed my temple, "you're not allowed to miss home anymore."

I laughed, "what's there to miss?"

We stood on the deck and watched the sun set into the water, finally going back inside my stomach growled.

"I'm starving," I groaned, "I don't think I've eaten in 24 hours."

Eric laughed and grabbed the phone, "Chinese and Never Back Down sound good?"

"Sounds perfect," I smiled, I had my favorite guy, my favorite food on the way, and would eat it with my guy watching my favorite movie.

* * *

The ending credits rolled and Eric clicked the TV off and yawned, "you tired? he asked.

"A little," I yawned, "I kinda wanted to shower before bed tonight, wanna join me, like old times?" it wasn't even a sexual suggestion, we were used to showering together to save time on tour and at home.

"I'll meet you in the bathroom as soon as I put my stuff away," he replied standing up and grabbing his bag.

I padded to the bathroom and started the water, stripping out my shirt I glanced at my tattoo in the mirror, in cursive letters across my waist line I had "la vie est belle" I got it before going off to college, it meant "life is beautiful" in French and was my favorite quote.

I heard the dresser drawer shut and soon Eric padded into the bathroom with a smile on his face. He slipped out his shirt and threw it on top of mine, I slid my arms around him and hugged his chest,

"Thank you for coming out here for me," I squeezed him a little tighter. He kissed the top of my head and smiled, "no problem beautiful."

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I backed out of our hug and pulled it out of my pocket and read the screen, "text from: B-Dalessss" what Brian was programmed as in my phone.

"He's texting you?" Eric asked trying to not act suspicious.

I clicked open and we both read the screen, "hey Britta, really sorry about this morning. I hope you and Eric are okay, and if I fucked anything up I'm terribly sorry. Hope all is well, I'll send you a Deluxe copy when it's finished. Talk to you soon." I breathed a sigh of relief, he hadn't said anything about the kiss. I quickly typed back, "don't worry your pretty little head off boy, Eric and I are swell, and you didn't do anything wrong. Looking forward to hearing the finished product, talk to you soon." I looked up at Eric for approval but hit send before he could say anything.

"You know you can trust me," I assured him.

He shook his head, "of course I trust you, it's him I don't."

"Eric James Halvorsen," I pecked the tip of his nose, "you need to just relax." Hitting the camera button on my phone I gave his nose another peck and snapped a picture into the mirror. He smiled from ear to ear and pecked my lips this time him snapping the picture.

We continued to undress and hoped into the steaming shower and slowly forgot about the events of that morning.

* * *

Feeling the cleanest I'd ever felt in a while I climbed into bed wearing fresh fluffy pj's and a smooth moisturized face. Eric shifted in under the covers and soon pulled me in close,

"Remember when you used to sing me to sleep?" he dazed.

"Of course I do" I replied, "I remember I'd sing you a different song every night depending on where we were."

"Sing me something," he breathed.

I pondered of a good song and finally chose one I thought was appropriate,

"_I've got a tight grip on reality,  
But I can't  
Let go of what's in front of me here,"_ I sang the beginning of the bridge of Paramore's "The Only Exception."

"_I know you're leaving  
In the morning, when you wake up  
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream."_

"I'm not going anywhere," Eric whispered before pulling me into a kiss. Goodnight world.

* * *

**i hope everyone's content with this chapter :D**

**the next one is probably going to jump a little farther into the future... we'll see ;)**


	14. Dear Kennedy

**alright guys, not INTENSE, but pretty rad :) the lyrics to "Kennedy" are in this chapter, read up loves!**

* * *

"I'm here K105.7 Mega Hit Mix with recording artist Britta," the radio announcer called into the microphone, "she's gonna be here for a while folks, talking about her new album, playing us some stuff, and answering your questions personally. Let's get this party started!"

I was sitting in the radio booth at K105.7 in LA, it was the last day of the two week radio tour and the calendar had finally turned to December.

"Well Britta, welcome!" the second announcer smiled at me, I later learned their names were Josh and Riley, and they were really nice.

"Thank you so much," I smiled into the microphone, "it's great to be here." Eric sat beside me with a headset on too, in case someone asked him a question, or if he wanted to say something on air.

"So," Josh turned towards me, "let's talk about your new album."

"Well, it comes out tomorrow," I laughed, "and I'm really excited."

"Tomorrow? Well that is exciting," Josh smiled, "are you having a release party?"

"Oh you bet," I replied, "it's tonight, we're celebrating at midnight, kinda like New Year's coming early."

"That's awesome," Riley exclaimed, "so what kinda stuff's on your album."

"Well most of it's like normal pop-rock, and some's a little slower," I explained.

"Well I have a track list right here," Josh picked up a piece of paper, "I'll read one and you tell me a little something about it, sound good?"

"Sounds great," I replied sitting up in my seat.

"Alright, number one," Josh read, "Kennedy."

"Are you Kennedy?" Riley asked Eric.

He laughed, "no, my names Eric."

"Kennedy's my ex," I explained, "it's a breakup song."

"Oh I see," Riley replied embarrassed.

"So 'Kennedy' was your first single on iTunes," Josh jumped in, "and I hear you get some very positive feedback."

"Yeah," I smiled, "people really liked it."

"So the song is literally how you broke up?" Josh asked.

"No, well it originally started as a love song," I began explaining, "but we broke up before I finished writing the song, so I switched a few words around and finished it as a breakup tune."

"I see," Josh shook his head.

"It's not like an 'I hate you' song, it's an 'I'll miss but we're over' song," I explained.

"Well you're gonna have to play it later for us then," Riley smiled.

"That'd be fun," I smiled.

"Alright, next song," Josh looked back down at the paper, "The Only One."

"I love that song," I gushed, "I wrote it with John Ohh from The Maine back when we were on tour."

"That's what you guys were writing?" Eric asked surprised.

"Yeah, what'd you think we were doing silly?" I replied.

"I have no idea actually, I'm just used to John doing odd things," he laughed.

"John actually helped me a lot on this song," I went back to explaining, "it's about loving someone and it's obvious to everyone except the person you love."

"Sounds pretty sweet," Josh stuck out his bottom lip and shook his head, "next one, Without You."

"Another breakup song," I laughed, "this one saying, 'hey I'm not doing so badly without you'"

"I like the sound of that," Riley winked.

Josh read through a few more songs and I explained the meaning of each, he stopped when he got to "As Sweet As Sunday."

"This is the song you recorded with Taylor Swift right?" he asked.

"Yes it is!" I smiled, "she's the nicest person I've ever met."

"Well we've got 'As Sweet As Sunday' here and we're gonna play it…now!" Josh flipped a button on the board and quickly called into the microphone, "when we get back Britta's going to be answering your questions on air, so call us up!" he announced the number and clicked off the microphone.

"So," he began, "after the questions, would like to do a live performance?"

"That'd be wonderful," I smiled, "what song?"

"We were thinking one of the two singles, 'Shadow' or 'Kennedy'," he replied.

I looked over at Eric, he was staring down at the table his eyes looking tired, I didn't want to make him uncomfortable, but singing 'Kennedy' would be a big thing, since it was my first single. I cleared my throat,

"I guess I'll do 'Kennedy'," I replied, "but one condition."

Josh wrinkled his brow, "what's the condition?"

"Eric has to play it with me," I looked over at him and smiled, "you know it on guitar right?"

"Yeah I do," Eric replied, "but you should play it, it's your song."

"No, I want you to," I put my sad puppy face on, "please lovey."

Eric cracked a smile, "fine."

"Yay!" I exclaimed.

Josh got up and grabbed Eric a guitar, "will this do?" he asked handing it to him.

"It's great thanks," Eric held the guitar and strummed a few chords.

The song ended and Josh clicked the microphones back on, "and we're back!" he announced. He flipped open a laptop, "we've been asking people for a few days to post questions for Britta on the website, and you can call in now, let's get this going."

I watched as the phone lit up, "our first caller!" Josh exclaimed and hit 'talk', "hello, you're on with Josh and Riley, what's your name, where you're calling from, and your question for Britta?"

"Hi!" the voice squeaked, "My names Brooke, and I'm calling from San Francisco, and my question is; what was your major inspiration for writing this album?"

"Hi Brooke," I smiled into the microphone, "I guess you could say my biggest inspiration for this album was a breakup I went through back in July, and also how my life has changed since then."

"That's awesome!" Brooke replied, "oh my god this is so cool."

I couldn't stop smiling, I loved my fans, "it was really nice to talk to you Brooke!"

"You too!" Brooke chirped, "thank you."

"No problem," I smiled.

"Thanks for your question Brooke," Josh spoke into the microphone, "and thanks for calling K105.7, have a good day!"

"Bye!" Brooke exclaimed before hanging up.

"Alright," Josh leaned back in his chair, "let's answer some of these questions from the website."

"Let's" I squirmed, and shifted trying to read the screen.

"Okay, this one's from Brody in Jamestown, Virginia; he asks, "is it true you're going on tour with A Rocket To The Moon and The Summer Set next spring?"

I chuckled at the thought, "that'd be amazing," I answered, "but for now that's just a rumor, sorry, but I'll keep everyone updated on any shows posted."

Riley now also held a laptop and scrolled trough a few pages, "here's a good one," she read, from Annemarie in Tempe, she asks, "what's your biggest regret in life?"

The image of Brian and I kissing flashed through my memory, that was probably one of my biggest regrets but I wasn't about to open my mouth and tell the world about that, especially not Eric.

"My biggest regret," I pondered, "losing contact with my family," I finally answered, "they weren't always happy with my decisions in life, and especially not leaving college to tour the country with my 'rockstar boyfriend.'"

"Interesting," Riley shook her head, "oh here's another good one, from Andrew in New York, What's your favorite song off your album?"

"Most definitely 'Dreamin'," I replied, "I wrote that song before I even knew there'd be an album, it was one of the most flowly and fun songs to write and perform"

"Can we hear a little sample?" Josh asked.

"Sure," I smirked,

"_And you ask me what I've been doing lately…_

_Dreamin,_

_Dreamin of you,_

_Dreamin of, dreamin of you._

_Thinkin,_

_Thinkin of you,_

_Thinkin of, dreamin of you._

_Wishin,_

_Wishin I was more than dreamin,_

_Wishin I was more than dreamin."_

"I really like that," Riley smiled, "very pretty."

"Thank you!" I replied.

The phone flashed again, "another caller!" Josh hit 'talk' and introduced the station.

"Hey Britta, my names Alyssa from Houston, I just wanted to know; is it true you thought you were pregnant?"

My heart stopped, "who said that?" I asked.

"Well a little while ago after Pat and Kennedy's accident I was on twitter and Pat tweeted; Man that rash did not look good, hope Britta's okay and it's not what she thinks."

"He did not!" my jaw dropped.

"Oh he did," Alyssa giggled, "and my mom's a gyno and I figured if he was talking about a rash and 'what you thought' you probably thought you were preggo."

"Oh wow," I chucked, "you're a smart girl, and yes there was a scare, but I'm not pregnant, well going by what I'm aware of now."

Josh thanked Alyssa and she hung up, "well," he wrinkled his brow again, "this is weird, Alyssa just asked if you were pregnant and Natasha from Kansas asks what you and Eric want to name your children, when you have them of course."

"Weird," I rolled my eyes, "actually there's a funny story about that, ever since I was 13 I wanted to name my first daughter Kennedy Sophia, I guess that'd be awkward now."

Everyone laughed, including Eric, "well what's your second favorite name?" he asked.

"Tayla Ryann," I replied blushing, "it's like Taylor but with an 'a' and I like boy middle names for girls."

"Girls with boy names are the best kind," Riley winked, "trust me."

Eric shook his head, "well we already agreed on our epic boy name remember?" he smiled.

"Oh of course," I smiled thinking of the name I wanted to name my first son since forever; Eric loved it too, "Hawke Christopher."

"How sick is that?" Eric laughed, "his name would be Hawke Halvorsen, intense stuff right there."

"I like that," Josh smiled, "Hawke, sick!"

We answered a few more questions before Josh clicked off the microphone and played "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha.

"You ready to perform?" Josh asked as I danced around the studio to my favorite song.

"I was born ready," I replied and went back to singing.

* * *

"Alright guys, thank you for all the great questions," Josh spoke into the microphone, "before we go Britta's got one last song for us, this one's called 'Kennedy" people, go get it on iTunes."

Eric started strumming the guitar and bobbing his head, I felt the tone set in and began to sing,

"_He says goodbye like I'll never see him again_

_And I love the fact that he's still my best friend_

_He turned my world around with one look_

_And one day was all it took"_

That was the part I'd written before we'd broken up…

"_And soon I'd fallen_

_Oh and I fell hard_

_But baby when you hit the ground_

_It's gonna leave some scars_

_So I can look back and smile_

_And think of you again,_

_But I have to wait for these wounds to heal and mend."_

The first chorus, after we broke up, I didn't want to sound mean right off…

"_And he calls me up_

_Just to say I love you_

_But what if I don't answer?_

_He builds me up,_

_To break me down_

_But what if I don't falter?"_

Obviously I'd started this verse before we broke up…

"_And yes I'd fallen_

_Oh and I fell hard_

_But baby when you hit the ground_

_It's gonna leave some scars_

_So take back your apology_

_And get the hell away from me_

_Cause now, these wounds won't heal,_

_And you can't imagine how I feel."_

A little harsh, but I was completely crushed,

"_It's not a secret anymore_

_I'm broken crawling on the floor,_

_This day couldn't get worse._

_You chose the perfect time _

_To ruin it all._

_So smile baby,_

_Smile baby,_

_Cause you got what you wanted,_

_Well didn't you?"_

Gabi would love the bridge…

"_And forget I'd fallen_

_Oh forget it all_

_Cause baby when I hit the ground_

_I picked myself back up and walked away._

_Don't follow me,_

_Please oh please,_

_Just forget me,_

_Dear Kennedy…_

_Please forget me,_

_Dear Kennedy…"_

I took a deep breath and leaned back in the chair, I hadn't remembered how emotional performing that song made me, it felt good, not only the closure, but knowing I'd always have a part of him with me.

* * *

**thanks for reading :)**

**reviews = sunshine!**

**(btw, Eric messaged me on myspace on Tuesday 12/2/09! he's so sweet!)**


	15. Mistakes at Midnight

****

hey everybody! sorry this took so long, i've been really distracted alll dayy! haha but here's chapter 15! hope you enjoy :D

* * *

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" the crowd counted down to Midnight, "Happy Album Release!"

The lights flashed on brighter and "Tik Tok" came booming through the speakers. I started dancing and singing along, I couldn't believe the head rush I felt.

"Babe," Eric wrapped his arm around my waist, "at _your _album release shouldn't they be playing _your_ song?"

"Oh lighten up," I smiled, "everyone knows Tik Tok is my favorite song."

It was finally December 14th, the date my album was scheduled to release, and we were partying it up at the release party. Nick and Andrew flew in that afternoon and were somewhere throughout the party trying to find Taylor, who I didn't even know if she was going to show up or not.

"Britta," a voice behind yelled over the music. I turned around and met eyes with Brian,

"Brian!" I threw my arms around his neck, Eric snarled in jealousy, "what are you doing here, I thought you guys left LA."

"Well we did," he explained, "but we didn't want to miss your album coming out, and this kick ass party!"

I laughed, "this is pretty sick huh?" I looked around at the brightly decorated teal and red room, my two favorite colors. The floor was filled with people, some I didn't even recognize, many were from the record company, and some were celebrities.

"I feel a little underdressed though," Brian laughed. He was wearing jeans and plain blue shirt with a light jacket, and his favorite beanie. I was wearing my favorite black sequin dress with the white underlining, along with red pumps. Eric wore his black skinny jeans and a nice shirt; we looked the next Brad and Angelina.

I gave Brian another hug before he had to go find the rest of the band, Eric and I went back to dancing,

"I still don't like the way he looks at you," Eric hissed through his teeth.

"Hey you look at me," I softly pulled his chin towards me, "tonight's about you and me, and the beginning of the rest of our lives, forget everything else."

He kissed me lightly and I laid my head on his shoulder, but soon was interrupted by a tap on my shoulder,

"Oh darling," a voice called for me, "congratulations!"

I turned around and Taylor Swift stood in front of me, the nerves set back in, I couldn't believe she was here,

"Taylor!" I pulled her into a hug, "thank you for coming!"

"Like I would miss it," she laughed, "there's someone I want you to meet." Taylor stepped aside and I looked into the crowd to see who it was, then I saw the firey red hair,

"Hayley Williams!" I gushed when she walked up, "oh my god, you are not here right now!"

Hayley was hands down my ultimate idol, next to Taylor and Demi, and she was at MY release party!

"I am here right now!" she joked, "and it's awesome to finally meet you, I've been jamming to your tunes for a while now."

My heart nearly stopped, "you, you listen to my songs?"

Hayley smiled, "yeah girl," her face lit up, "you got quite a voice there."

"Are you kidding me," I gawked, "your voice gives me chills, no lie."

"Well thank you," she pulled me into a hug, "we should def do a song together sometime or something, I'll call you."

"That'd be amazing" I gushed, "I'll be looking out for ya." Hugging Taylor and Hayley again before they went back to the party, I texted Nick that Taylor was here and if he wanted to meet her come here now. Before Taylor could even get 5 feet away Nick was already at my side,

"Tay," I called after her, "I'm sorry, there's actually someone I want you to meet."

Nicks face lit up as Taylor smiled and approached us, "well hi," she smiled at him, "it's nice to meet you.

"You're pretty," Nick stuttered, "I mean, hi I'm Nick, it's amazing to meet you."

Taylor giggled, "would you like to come with me to get something to drink?" she asked, "I'm afraid I'm gonna get lost."

"I'd," Nick's voice cracked, he cleared his throat and tried again, "I'd love too."

Taylor and Nick walked away and I went back to dancing with Eric,

"I can't believe tonight," I rested my head on his chest as "As Sweet As Sunday" came on, "there's no one I'd rather be with right now, right here, than with you."

"Oh really," Eric laughed, "what about, about 25 fans?" he asked.

"What?" I asked confused.

"There's a few fans outside trying to get in," he explained, "Andrew texted me about it when he came inside, they really want to meet you, I don't think they plan on leaving."

"Eric it's December," I exclaimed, "they're probably freezing!"

"Hey," Eric began, "They're the ones…"

I pulled him away before he could finish his sentence and headed for the front of the building, "where are we going?" Eric asked confused.

"We're going to meet the fans," I replied pushing the door open.

We descended the stairs and passed Mark in the lobby with other label mates, a shaggy haired cute face caught my attention, "Justin Bieber?" I asked stopping in my tracks.

"Britta!" Mark exclaimed, "we've been looking for you, Justin just snuck in the back, he's a big fan and wanted to congratulate you on your album."

Justin walked over smiling, since he'd grown up he'd gotten so much more attractive than when he first became famous back when he was 15, now he was 18, his voice was deeper and his stature had matured beautifully,

"Hey," he took his hands out of his pockets, "congratulations on your album, it's sick I checked it out online a few days ago."

"Thank you Justin," he pulled me into a hug, "are you gonna join the party?"

"Yeah, eventually" he shyly replied, "I was waiting to meet you, my manager thinks we should tour together in the spring."

"That'd be awesome Justin," I replied, "I'll meet you inside alright, I've got to go do something and I'll be right back in."

Justin waved goodbye and Eric and I rushed down another flight of stairs,

"I'm so excited," I gushed, "this is going to be so fun!"

"I think you're more excited to meet your fans than you were to meet Taylor Swift," Eric laughed.

"My fans are the most important people I'll ever meet," I replied, "they're the ones who got me here."

We pushed open the door and the security guard turned around looking confused, "Britta?" he asked.

A group of about 30 people stood outside, with cameras and eager faces, "oh my god!" one girl exclaimed. It was undeniably freezing and pitch black with the exception of the outdoor lights hanging off the building. A gush of icy wind blew and stunned the back of my neck, I then regretted pulling my hair up in a slick bun.

"Hey everybody," I smiled and walked over to the ecstatic fans, "you guys must be freezing, what are you doing out here?" I laughed.

"We wanted to meet you," a tall scrawny boy smiled, "you're seriously my idol."

"Thank you," I gushed, "do you wanna take pictures or something?" I asked. Eric stood beside me and scanned the crowd,

"I can't believe you're doing this," he whispered, "you're something amazing you know that."

After taking pictures with all the fans and signing some autographs I'd fallen in love,

"You guys are incredible," I gushed, "thank you for everything, for listening, for supporting, for being here tonight."

"We love you," three girls replied simultaneously.

"You know what," I tapped my lips with my index finger, thinking, "you guys, I'm not going to let you freeze out here any longer, you're coming inside."

"What?" the fans, Eric, and the security guard all emitted at once.

"I'm serious," I walked towards the door, "let's go, you guys are all welcome."

The security guard stepped back and let the fans file in the door; I held it open and watched as they texted and tweeted, it made me smile to know I was making them smile.

We marched back to the party, the fans still giggling and "oh my goding" it was an incredible feeling. Mark gave me a confused look when we reached him and Justin's manager,

"What are you doing," he asked laughing, "who are these people?"

"They're my new friends," I smiled, "I wasn't going to let them freeze outside, they should party with us too."

"Oh Britta," Mark shook his head, "you're too much, have fun."

Pushing open the doors to the party "Shadow" hit me in the face with full volume, people stood around everywhere, but one person stood out…Kennedy?

I walked up to the guys, forgetting the fans had even come up with me,

"Uhm guys," I asked confused, "you're here?"

Everyone in The Maine turned around and smiled, Pat had healed well; his stitches were gone and his eye wasn't swollen anymore, Kennedy no longer had his neck brace, but he still had a walking cast and sling on his right arm.

"Hey Britta," John Ohh pulled me into a hug, "we wanted to see you on release day."

"Well thanks for coming guys," I smiled and hugged the rest of the band, when I got to Kennedy I sighed and pulled him aside, leaving Eric to talk to John.

"How've you been?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" he smiled.

"I mean everything Kennedy," I rolled my eyes, "how's your arm, and your head, and your everything."

"Just relax," Kennedy smirked, "my arm and my head are fine, I just need a little while to recover, and we should be set for another tour in the spring."

"That's great Kenny," I sighed in relief, "you know, 'Kennedy' is about you."

"Oh really," Kennedy laughed, "I never would have guessed."

"Shut up!" I smacked his good arm, "I'm serious, that songs means a lot to me, and I want you to know that it's not an 'I hate you' song, cause I don't Kennedy, you know I don't hate you.

"I know," he caressed my cheek, "I've heard the song, and it's amazing, and I'm flattered, I just wish the story behind it wasn't true."

Sighing I held on to his hand on my cheek, "oh Kennedy, me and you, we are so fucked up," I laughed.

"So true," he smiled, "but now all your dreams are coming true, and you need to go have fun, so stop worrying about me, and go party."

Just as I was about to turn away "Kennedy" came through the speakers, we both froze and locked eyes,

"May I have this dance?" I asked taking his hand, he followed me to the dance floor and we swayed to the music.

"I can't really dance with my foot," Kennedy admitted.

"It's alright," I rested my head on his chest, "we don't have to dance."

Though to some it'd seem Kennedy and I were together, or in love, it wasn't anything of the sort. I missed him and the song I'd written about him was playing, we both knew that when the song was over we'd go back to our separate lives, but for the time being, we lived in the moment of memories, good and bad.

The song ended and I lifted my head off his chest, "well Kenny," I smiled, "thank you for the dance."

"No problem darling," he smiled and we walked back to the guys.

"Oh my gosh, I almost forgot," John Ohh exclaimed with a mouthful of chicken strips, "thanks for mentioning me about 'The Only One' you didn't have to do that."

"Uhm yes I did," I smiled, "you helped me write it, I wrote you a little section in my 'Thank yous' in the album too."

"Fuck yeah," John exclaimed licking his fingers.

Before I could respond I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turned around and met eyes with a smiling Mark,

"Hey Britta," he looked anxious, "Justin wants to know if you want to talk tour now? He's really interested in touring together this spring."

"Mark," I replied laying my hand on his shoulder, "tell Justin I'm flattered, but I'm not talking business tonight. Tours can wait, all I want is to go back to Arizona and live happily ever after with the love of my life."

"You want me to tell Justin all that?" Mark asked crocked faced.

"Yes indeed I do," I replied before he walked away.

Eric wrapped his arm around my waist, "I love you," he kissed my forehead and I smiled. Quickly I glanced over at Kennedy, he was staring at the floor, I felt bad.

"So where did all those fans go?" I asked breaking the tension.

"They're right there," Eric pointed at a group of girls talking to Justin and smiling, "looks like they're happy, what you did, that was too nice, you know that right?"

I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder, "they deserve some fun too, and I wasn't just going to let them freeze outside."

Garrett laughed, "You brought all those fans in?"

"Yeah I did," I smiled, "they're cute."

My phone vibrated in my dress, it was a picture message from Nick, I clicked open and smiled when I saw the image. Taylors face took up half the screen and she smiled wide, Nick filled the other half, his eyes bright and smile pasted on his face. I quickly texted back, "So cute, when's the wedding?" Soon my phone vibrated, "When's yours? ;)" Nick texted back. I slid my phone in my dress and closed my eyes, I couldn't think about that now.

For the next few hours we danced and chatted with the fans and I exchanged numbers with Hayley, by 3 am everyone was incredibly tired.

"Hey everyone," the dj announced into the microphone, "the party is coming to an end soon, I hope everybody had a good night, and congratulations to Britta on her new album."

The crowd cheered and soon the floor emptied out, after hugging Taylor, Hayley, Justin, and all the fans goodbye, the guys from The Maine, A Rocket To The Moon, and The Summer Set were the only ones left.

"Well that was a hell of a party huh?" Stephen exclaimed holding a cup full of punch and strong smelling vodka.

"Stevie," I smelled his cup, "who gave you alcohol?"

"The bartender," he replied, "I told him I was with you."

Eric gave me an incriminating look, maybe this alcohol thing was a real problem for Stephen and John, I felt guilty for letting this happen.

"Well no one else is drunk I hope," I looked around at everyone shaking their heads no.

"Alright well I'm exhausted," I sighed kicking off my heels, "do you guys have a place to stay?"

"We got a hotel room a few blocks from here," John replied putting on his jacket.

"Yeah and we're hitting the road tonight," Brian explained, "finally going back home."

"Okay," I slipped on Eric's overcoat, "I'll see you all soon then."

After hugs and goodbyes Eric and I left the venue and traveled home, the next morning when I woke up my album would be on the shelves at every Target and FYE across the country.

* * *

We slumped into the apartment and I kicked my shoes off and sighed in relief as the carpet cushioned my aching feet. Eric took his jacket off me and kissed my shoulder,

"If you're tired babe I'll lock up and put the stuff away, you go lay down," he urged.

"Okay, thank you," I groaned, "don't be too long," winking I walked towards the bedroom and slipped out of my dress as I stepped into the doorway.

"Dayumm," I heard Eric exclaim and chuckle before shutting the door behind me.

The room was pitch black and I kicked my dress towards my dresser, I was too tired to think about anything but sleep. Flopping into bed I grabbed Eric's shirt off the floor and threw it on, resting my head on the pillow I heard Eric shut the fridge and soon enter the room. He changed out of his party clothes and hoped into bed, kissing my temple he whispered, "Surprise."

I turned around to see him holding a copy of "All These Mistakes I've Made" I had no idea how he'd gotten it, they weren't supposed be out until the stores opened.

"How'd you get that?" I asked reaching up for it.

"I pulled a few strings," he smiled and pulled it back towards him, "I want to read my thank you section," he teased.

"Fine," I giggled.

He opened the CD and slid out the lyric book and flipped to the last page, "Thank yous" he read aloud,

"Eric James Halvorsen," he began, "that's me!"

"Indeed it is," I smiled.

"Well lovey it's been quite the adventure hasn't it? Thank you just isn't enough when it comes to you, you're my world, my everything, my shining star, and my inspiration. You were there when I fell apart and put the pieces back together better than they were before. I love you more than words could describe, and you've taught me to trust in love again. I dedicate this album to you, because without you, there'd be no album. Thank you for believing in me and not letting me give up, ever. I trust you with my life, and with you there's no secrets, you know me better than I know myself. I never thought I'd fall so hard for someone until I found you, thank you for giving me the strength to see another day. I love you and I always will."

A tear formed in my eye as Eric read his thank you, I loved him more than anything but I was still keeping something from him, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Eric," I whispered, "can we talk?"

"Sure," he looked concerned and set the CD down on the nightstand, "why are you crying?"

"I have to tell you something," I choked.

"What is it, you can tell me anything," Eric brushed the hair out of my face.

"You remember the night The Summer Set was here, and we got drunk?" I asked.

"Yeah," Eric wrinkled his brow, "what about it?"

"Well John was tired and I went to the cave to get the cot and Brian came with me to get it and," I stopped.

"And what?" Eric asked anxiously.

"And we kissed, but it meant nothing," I finally admitted.

"You kissed Brian?" Eric asked furiously.

"Yes, but we were drunk, and it didn't mean anything," I tried to explain.

"It didn't mean anything?" Eric sat up, "A kiss always means something."

"Eric you have to believe me," I pleaded, "it was just a little kiss, nothing else happened, and we laughed about it after."

"I can't believe this," Eric shook his head.

"Eric, I promise you, it meant nothing," I assured him.

"I can't deal with this," Eric got up and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked crying.

"Away from you," he slammed the door behind him and I ran after him. Flinging the door open I found him sitting on the couch,

"Eric, come back to bed, let's talk about this," I cried.

"There's nothing to talk about," Eric murmured, "and I'm staying out here tonight, I need to think."

"Well fine then," I replied wiping my eyes, "here's something to think about, YOU were in Brians shoes not too long ago when I was still dating Kennedy and you kissed me."

"That's completely different," Eric lilted through his teeth.

"And how so?" I demanded crossing my arms.

"Because I was ridiculously in love with you," Eric explained.

"And Brian's not Eric," I replied, "and that's why his kiss meant nothing."

* * *

**intense much? oh yesss!**

**can't wait to see what happens? well don't worry chapter 16 is already planned out, i'll be working on it soon! :D**

**reviews = christmas morning :)**


	16. Waking Up In Vegas

**dying to find out what happens? well don't worry! here's chapter 16 :D enjoy!**

* * *

The next morning I woke up alone and my heart fell, Eric had never come back to bed. Getting up I pulled on pajama pants and checked my phone. I had a few texts from people saying congratulations on the album and I figured I'd get to them later.

Opening the bedroom door I stepped out into the living room and checked the couch for Eric, it was empty. His shoes and jacket were still there though so I knew he hadn't left. Then I saw him sitting out on the deck staring into space sipping a mug of coffee. I walked over to the glass door and slid it open, he turned around and we met eyes,

"Good morning," I lightly murmured stepping out onto the deck, "how long have you been out here?"

"All night," Eric replied, "I didn't sleep."

Taking a seat next to Eric on the bench I sighed and leaned up against his arm and whispered "please don't hate me.

"I don't hate you," Eric replied not taking his eyes off the sky, "I could never hate you."

"But you're mad at me," I borrowed my head between his neck and his shoulder.

"I'm not mad at you," Eric took a sip of coffee, "I've been thinking about this non-stop."

"So have I," I admitted, "I didn't want to tell you, it wasn't even worth it, but I hated keeping it from you."

"I understand," he replied placing his cup down, "I was just as guilty as Brian back in July."

"But it's not like that," I began to explain, "Brian and I, we were drunk and his head already wasn't in the right place, I shouldn't have let him kiss me. Back in July Eric, I kissed you, because I wanted to."

"And I wanted to kiss you," he replied this time facing me, I could smell the coffee on his breath, "because I loved you, I always had."

"I know Eric," I kissed his nose, "and Brian and I are not in love, not even close, the kiss was a joke, it was just like kissing Jess."

"You kissed Jess?" Eric laughed, "How drunk were you?"

I slapped his arm, "I did not kiss Jess," I laughed, "I'm serious, that's how unimportant and meaningless the kiss was. Just imagine me kissing Jess."

"Oh I'm imagining," Eric smiled, "that's hott."

"You perve," I screamed, "So we're okay?"

"We're fine," Eric replied, "I just feel really bad now, like I know how Kennedy felt when he found out we kissed before you guys were done."

"Actually," I bit my lower lip, "funny thing about that, I never told him."

"You never told him!" Eric's eyes widened, "about Wal-Mart or anything?"

"No, I never had the chance to," I explained, "after we broke up I didn't talk to him for months, and by then we were together for a while."

"Wow," Eric chuckled, "that's probably why he still hasn't killed me for having you."

"He wouldn't have killed you anyway," I laid my head on Eric's shoulder; "he's the one who fucked up."

"So you're not gonna end up with Brian now are you?" Eric asked sarcastically.

"What do you mean?" I replied confused.

"Well when you were dating Kennedy we kissed and now you're with me," he began to explain; "well now you kissed Brian, should I expect to be single again?"

"You're an idiot," I laughed, "no way, no how! Brian and I are just friends, and I could never leave your sad ass, what would you do without me Mr. Halvorsen."

"Nothing," he replied laughing, "I'd cry all day and wait for my song about me."

"I'll start it now," I joked, "_dear Eric, you are the love of my life, but I left you to be with Brian, because he doesn't eat meat, I'm into that kind stuff now," _I fake sang.

"Well, that's a Grammy waiting to happen," Eric joked and picked up his mug, "you want a sip?" He motioned the mug towards me,

"Sure," I replied and he held the steaming coffee up to my lips, I took a sip and winced, "Eric this is disgusting!"

"Sorry," he laughed, "it's not my fault you have like no sugar in this damn apartment."

"I can guarantee you I know where all my friggen food went," I replied frustrated, "fucking Josh and Stephen destroyed my kitchen making drinks."

"Those guys," Eric shook his head, "they scare me."

"All of them do," I rolled my eyes, "except John, he's one of the most thoughtful people I've ever met."

"Oh John," Eric chuckled, "that guys my hero."

"You're my hero," I quickly snuck a kiss.

"Well you're hero is starving," Eric kissed me back, "go make me some breakfast women!"

Laughing I replied, "For one, I don't cook; your choices are cereal and pop tarts. And for two, if you ever order me to do something like that again, we're never having sex again, ever."

Eric's eyes widened, "I, I'm sorry," he laughed, "That will never happen again."

"Good boy," I patted the top of his head and stood up, "now what do you want for breakfast?"

"Sex?" Eric winked.

"Is that an order?" I laughed.

"No, just a suggestion," Eric grabbed my hand and stood up, "you take suggestions right?"

"Suggestion taken," I smiled and lead him inside sliding the door closed behind me.

* * *

"Goodbye apartment," I sighed and shut the door behind me, Eric carried his bag and one of mine, we were finally heading home. It had been a hell of a month and a half in Los Angeles but I was so excited to finally go back to normal.

I couldn't wait to sit on our comfy couch and watch Waiting… until we couldn't breathe we were laughing so hard. And scream for each other when we got a great idea for a song in the shower and had to get it written before we forgot it, that's how "Shadow" came to be. Spending days shopping with Dana, Eric's sister, and helping his mom pick out the best recipes for dinner. In the small time I'd spent in Arizona I learned to love everything about it, especially the fact that it was home now.

Following Eric down the stairs I started tearing up, I was going to miss the apartment and everything I'd accomplished in LA. Meeting Taylor Swift, and recording with Brian, I was leaving a huge part of my life in a small apartment in the center of Los Angeles. Eric pulled his keys out of his pocket and clicked the unlock button, yawning he tossed the bags in the back seat and hopped in the driver's side. Placing my bag behind my seat I set in and put my seatbelt on, Eric flipped on the radio and "As Sweet As Sunday" was playing on K105.7. Eric looked over at me and smiled,

"I'm so proud of you," he put the car in drive and pulled out of the parking lot. We hit the highway and I watched as the billboards passed by. My phone vibrated in my pocket breaking me from my trance, I pulled it out and read the screen, it was a text from Dana,

"Hey Britta, just picked up your album! I'm so incredibly proud of you and honored to call you my "kinda sister in-law." You're part of the family now, I hope you know that. Love you and have a safe trip home."

I smiled and hit reply, "thanks for picking up the album," I typed back, "and I'm honored to be a part of the family, I love you guys so much. See you soon, and I'll tell you all about my trip."

Gazing back out the window a billboard for "David's Bridal" caught my attention, the bride was a little darker than me wearing a pasty white smile and holding a flute of champagne, her smiling husband stood next to her carrying a matching flute, they both looked so happy.

I looked over at Eric; he sat with his mouth popped open in all his cute "mouthbreatherness" and bobbed his head along to the Theory of a Dead Man song on the radio.

"I love you, you know that?" I smiled.

"I love you too," Eric looked at me, "you feeling alright?" he laughed.

"Yeah, just thinking," I replied.

"About?" Eric asked returning his eyes to the road.

"I'm thinking about that fact that we're three exits away from Vegas right now," I replied.

"And what does that mean?" Eric laughed.

"Let's get married," I blurted, "right now."

"You're serious?" Eric looked at me in awe.

"I've never been more serious about anything," I replied shaking.

"Alright then," Eric changed lanes, "we're getting married, in Vegas!"

"We're getting married in Vegas!" I exclaimed.

We reached the exit and quickly got off the highway, "Welcome to Los Vegas, Nevada" I read the bright sign as my left arm began to itch.

* * *

**so...sadly we've reached the end of Britta and Eric's tale :(**

**BUT i never said i wasn't going to post an epilogue...hmmmm? :)**

reviews = as sweet as sunday ;)


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